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The mercenary hordes of Lampy, driven to doom by their officers, were mowed down by the CRIMSON crew and at the end of the contest the score board read: CRIMSON 5, Lampoon 4. All of the CRIMSON runs were earned; the Lampoon quota was merely lent to them for the afternoon by its generous opponents. From the moment when the Lampoon twirler pitched over the backstop for the first strike of the afternoon, the outcome was never in doubt. The CRIMSON infield was absolutely tight, and Lampy's punch was of no avail. The barrage of hits from CRIMSON bats gave the funny men no chance to retire; candidates were rushed in to fill breeches in the crumpled line, but the slaughter went on, and at nightfall the Lampoon outfield was still digging itself in. Finally, at 7 o'clock, Captain Bacon threw up the sponge and died, while the Plympton Street heroes left the field carried on the shoulders of two muckers who constituted the crowd. The Lampoon funeral will take place today. Relatives please send onions, peanuts and cauliflower.
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