MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS IN THE DAY'S NEWS

"The only college my boys ever went through is the school of profanity" remarked Ted Lewis, "High Hat King of Jazz", speaking of his orchestra in an interview to the Crimson, backstage in the Tremont Theatre yesterday. He had just finished a performance and was resting for a moment after his strenuous three hours. Just at that moment, there squeezed angrily through the doorway of the dressing room a musician carrying under his arm a bass viol. Turning the instrument over, he showed three great cracks to the comedian. "How about getting the heat turned off in this the-alre?" he asked. But Lewis, not taken aback by this declared, "What! and have all of us and our little ladies catch cold,-to save that!" and he pointed disdainfully, "Why that was once just a little fiddle which got the mumps, and then look how it grew!" He opened the door graciously and the base violinist squeezed out of the room again.

Name Confused

In spite of fatigue, Lewis continued his talk by telling of some Oxford students who came to hear him play at the Kit Kat Club in London. They had seen him in a play then running, and asked him to play a certain tune they had liked. "Why Do You Treat Me That Way?" was its name, they said. "After some little mental torture", Lewis said, "I gave up, when suddenly it occurred to me that the tune in question was 'How Can You Do Me Like You Do?' And that was my best impression of typical English humor."

Lewis declared that he had never been out to Harvard, "but still", he said. "I have been to an Elks' initiation in Cambridge, so I thought I could do anything I liked in Cambridge." In support of this his final words were, "Mayor Quinn came to see me the last time I was up here: so he must be out of town just now or I'm sure he would have come right in to see me this time. I guess that sort of gives me the freedom of your city, all right."

With these words he finished his toilette, and leaving the dressing room, asked with a slight smile. "Is Everybody Happy?"