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History "Howlers" Reveal Fact that Drang nach Osten is Stumbling Block for Many-Trivium a Country Like Gaul

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

"The 'putting-out system' is the nearest thing in the English language to what is so well expressed by the French 'coup d'etat,'" is a gem of the student howlers which members of the History Department have encountered in recent years. History is considered the most fertile field in which to find such "boners," a fact that is well testified to by some of the following:

"Poland was made up of poor peasants spread thinly over a wide area."

"He was offered the office of King, but declined, and after a regicide of nearly two years, he died in 1658, one of Europe's most powerful figureheads."

"Gibbon collected an amazing fund of knowledge, which took him years to massage into historical writing."

"Pie powder was a court for the quick solution of breaches of promise."

One student in answering a question asking for the definition of "Drang nach Osten," declared that it was the cry of the German barbarians to push on to Osten, while another simply explained it as being the mouth of the western-world Nile, so called because of its fertility. Other men answered that "Drang nach Osten" was a title of Charlemagne, the religion of the Huns, and a name applied to the Merovingian Kings because they couldn't even ride a horse, and were worthless.

In a terse exposition of the origin of trade, one would-be historian wrote, "Now as the sublime ignorance of feudal days were off, and oriental commodities began to seep in, the inhabitants began to trade their furniture etc. for tea and silks. Hence the beginning of trade."

Two explanations of the seven subjects taught in the Middle ages were. "Trivium and Quadrivium were two great scholars at the court of Charlemagne. One spoke Latin fairly well," and "Trivium, a country in Europe divided into three parts."

Various members of Radcliffe College believed that investiture was when lords and vassals exchanged clods of earth, that Hegira was a Mohammaden queen, and another that Hegira was a battle near Gibraltar.

One professor on correcting some examinations found to his delight this perfect simile, "It was thought mythologically that Saint Peter, when he died, was commissioned by Christ or God to stand before the golden gates of Heaven, and act like the Chairman of the Committee on Admissions.

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