THE CRIME

(This column is a regular feature of the Crimson.)

Freshmen living in the Yard will be deeply grieved to find themselves awakened the first morning at five minutes of seven by the leisurely but loud tolling of a deep-toned bell, slung high in the spire of the new Memorial Chapel. For five minutes it will continue its song until everyone is thoroughly awake, and then it will considerately stop. It is rung by wheel and bell-rope, taking great skill to manipulate it, at seven, quarter of nine, nine, and thenceforth on the hour throughout the day till four. Two other bells, which compete with it are the Memorial Hall bell, and that in the Catholic Church nearby. Fortunately both of these, which ring day and night, are conveniently pitched together on B flat.

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That favorite topic for the reporters of the middle west to fall back on--the World's Fair--has been banned from the pages of New England newspapers. All the reporters on the Boston metropolitan dailies, for instance, have been given orders not to mention the Fair. Yankees must not know there is such a thing. They must spend their summer and their money here.

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In the basement of University Hall, queries have already begun to pour into the office of William I. Nichols, secretary to the University for information, (to put it plainly, publicity manager). They are all asking when Harvard is going to join the NRA, and when Conant is going to give the papers a break. The answer to the first question is, When the Overseers and Fellows get back, if at all; to the second, When he talks to the Freshmen at the beginning of College--perhaps.

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The large number of Andover athletes coming to Harvard with the class of 1937 so alarmed Yale authorities, according to rumor, that special emissaries were sent up from New Haven to investigate the reason for this shift of traditional sympathies.

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It looks as if the College dining halls would serve nothing stronger than milk this fall. According to Massachusetts' hastily drawn law regulating the sale of beer, the 3.2 beverage cannot be sold to anyone under 21, which rules out most undergraduates. While the law is universally ignored in the State, it is felt that a College should do no wrong.

Even the Eliot House Night Lunch, which caters to the hunger but not the thirst of the College between the hours of 10 P. M. and 1 A. M., will probably confine itself to cracked ice.

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President Conant has been in and out of Cambridge since his return from a summer in Europe, without staying in any one place very long. Several times he has been reported at the Mallinckrodt Chemical Laboratory, where he has had an office for some years. Students are speculating as to whether he will set up a laboratory in the President's House to grow chlorophyll. The-presidency, however, probably means an end of his active scientific career.

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Colonel Charles R. Apted '06, Superintendent of Caretakers and of the Yard Police, claims to know the whereabouts of the clapper of the Memorial Hall dell, which disappeared mysteriously a year ago last spring. This was the clapper in behalf of which the class of 1935 stag-its riot in Harvard Square. Rumor has it that the clapper now reposes in the Princeton Club of New York.

Besides his active prosecution of the clapper case, Apted this last spring achieved even greater fame by recovering the Sacred Cod of the State of Massachusetts, purloined from the State House by a group of Harvard ruffians.

For his valiant work in the clapper case, Apted was elevated from the rank of captain of the Yard Police to that of major, and less than a year later was made a colonel in recognition of his recovery of the Seared Cod.