LAMPOON SLAUGHTER

Today, through the bright blue sky which forms a clear, curving vault over the destinies of Harvard, there flashes a splendid new meteor:--one well fitted to take its place beside such marvellous and awesome celestial bodies as the Tercentenary Celebration, the Yale Race, the Freshman Smoker and the Rotary Traffic Program which is functioning in all its diabolic efficiency in Harvard Square. Such fulsome praise belongs only to an event of the first water; one which will be flashed to the far corners of the globe in precedence to all else of importance happening at Harvard. This afternoon a stalwart band of Crimson editors sally forth armed with bats, balls, pop bottles and one used catcher's mitt to meet a motley crew collected from the idle gang around the Lampoon Building in the year's most exciting baseball game.

Far be it from the Crimson to blow its own horn but in view of past matches and on glancing through the records of past years, the meet will probably be, in the jargon of the trade, a "push over". The score of last year's encounter, though at the time there were ominous murmurs of "gyp" and "we wuz robbed" arising from the Lampoon contingent, was carefully checked by a firm of Boston accountants and found to be 23-2 in favor of the official undergraduate organ. Dr. Worcester's office later issued an unofficial statement attributing the victory to clean living and a paucity of undergraduate "gags".

It is with a firm step and clear eye that the Crimson team goes forth against the wiles of the LaFargement. Let the best man win. Victory will be celebrated in the Crimson Sanctum shortly after the match.