APTED PROMISES PROTECTION IF MODEL WAR MATERIALIZES

Referring to the recent report that a large group of students were planning to stage a Model World War in the Yard, Charles R. Apted '06, Yard police chieftain, announced "I don't give a hoot about a Model World War, but if it starts and gets out of bounds, we'll take care of it."

The "out of bounds" part of the statement was occasioned by the fact that the promulgators of the plan had issued a statement that though people might at first scoff at their idea, the war, when it got under way, would be audible to everyone within a radius of five miles.

Since the Model War plans were reported just before the Peace strike, it was at first thought that they intended their festivities to go on at the same time. But no word has since been heard.