Yale Cops Gypped in Bowling Match With Crimson Flatfeet

The Yale boys gypp. This suspicion long prominent in the minds of Harvard Undergraduates, was substantiated last night when it was reliably learned that the Yale flat-feet had used large balls instead of the agreed-on small spheroids in the Yale-Harvard bowling contest held February 18 between the Yard police of the rival institutions.

The disclosure was made public late last night when an unidentified stool-pigeon reported to the Harvard headquarters that the Elis had "nefariously inveigled their honorable contestants" by substituting the more effective large balls for the more skill-testing small ones, which the Crimson police used.

In addition, Yale was guilty of employing duck-pins, while the Cantabs limited themselves to the taller, slimmer, less easily stricken candle-pins.

Yale Periodical Sponsors Deceit

Proof of the gypping was offered in the form of signed testimony by several witnesses including members of the Yale News, undergraduate periodical, who were declared the sponsors of the deceit. No action was contemplated by either institution.

George DePinto, who captained the victorious Crimson squad, said last night: "From previous contact with Yale boys, we were suspicious of their intentions and methods from the beginning. Our victory is even more valued now that the public is aware of our handicap."

It was DePinto, who on hearing that Yale had bowled the phenomenal score of 1645, in his final round shattered all records for the day with a 149 point string, 50 better than any of his previous scores.

Although unable to present concrete evidence since supposedly the alleys are in "cahoots" with the Yale police in return for "Protection," the stool-pigeon reported that many of the members of the Blue team do not possess badges, but are alley-rats or "ringers."

When questioned on the gypping and misrepresentation, the News sheepishly retaliated with the unfounded accusation that the Harvard scores were altered and raised.