STRAIGHT DOPE

Gentlemen, we've got a job coming up. It's not academic, nor is it military. It's a charitable job, and in this instance, charity really begins at home.

On Saturday, July 17, at 1600, the Supply Corps School will sponsor an afternoon dance at Potter Auditorium for the benefit of Navy Relief. Girls will be provided for "stage," the admission will be 50 cents to all, and everyone is invited. Buy a ticket by all means, and come if you can.

The Navy Relief might be considered our own private and personal charity. For its funds are used solely and exclusively to provide for families of Navy enlisted and officer personnel who are left financially disabled as a result of a Navy casualty. The fund is administered by Naval personnel who donate their time and services gratis. As can be imagined, the obligations assumed by Navy Relief in this war are tremendous. In some cases the money advanced is returned to the fund, more often not.

We can never tell but that our own families will some day benefit by our contributions this month, so keep the date and the fund in mind as the most worthy cause to which we of the Navy can donate our time and money.

Well, time is of essence this week, and if we can shake these Nigerian natives off the Cranmore Company's balance sheet by Saturday noon, we'll consider ourselves lucky. It seems the more we ask about the reports that are due, the more excited we appear, so the instructors just elucidate a little here and there to keep us interested, and end up with a 15 page written assignment. And that from "a few figures on a rough map." Professor de Haas, we are surprised.

Reports Continue Incidentally, in case you've become too elated at completing this week's set of reports, here's same sad news on the remaining papers due before September 6. Industrial Management due July 30; Transportation (second job) due August 7; Procurement and Sources of Supply, August 15; second War Production report, August 23; and a final report in Foreign Resources due September 5.

You can expect to receive the five new assignments respectively on July 19, July 31, and August 7, 16, and 26. Of course this schedule is subject to addition, insertion, multiplication and more reports, but not subtraction. So clean up your typewriter, file down your nails...and cancel your week-end dates (Oh yeah?). The Middies have four more reports to go definitely, probably five, as follows: Foreign Resources, Procurement, Management, and Finance, due respectively July 29, August 9, 18, and 26. Carry on!

Our apologies to the WAVES for chasing them all around our calendar, but if you read the school regs, you'll see that all liberty is a privilege and not a right, and "additional scheduled activities may at any time take preference." If you ever do find four afternoon hours with nothing to do, drop down to the Officers Club, 12 Arlington Street, where hostesses (or male officers) will dance with you between 1700 and 2000.

And speaking of "privileges" we think that by the time this gets to you the "guests admitted" sign will be back over Cowie Hall. And about "No Seconds" order in milk, that's official. The Medical Office has apparently learned by "experience" (and how) that three bottles of milk a day are enough. Okay, then, how about some water glasses, or were they all smoked out too?

Wasn't Commandeer Sherwood's announcement unique last Tuesday morning? "I am pleased to announced that Mr. Custer has lost his hat and Mr. Unwin has begat himself a seven pound daughter." Congratulations, Ed, damn good cigars. Nice breaking the trend toward sons. Who's gonna drive the street cars if all our newborn enlist in V-12? How about that Frank P, "Jake" J?

Two recent pieces of advice from Mr. Stevenson should always be recalled, circumstances permitting ... "Never hold pay day in a blackout," and "Never make advances to Navy Nurses."

In case you haven't been told, Coop memberships must be renewed now, and Harvard athletic participation cards are no good after this week. New athletic cards will be issued soon, supplied by the U.S. Government as before.

It's time to start our yearbook if we're going to have one. How about it, Mr. President Brown, sun.

Flash! Ensign Robert Oaken wishes to purchase one beautiful engagement ring for one beautiful blonde. Anyone know anyone in the business? You can't trust your own uncle on them things these days.