Ibis Rats on Dodoes, Lets Cat Out of Bag

Encrusted with ice, the Lampoon's Ibis dropped into the office last night with the news that the boys at the Bow Street aviary had renounced their schoolboy pranks and were embarking into the complex scientific world of public opinion research. To prove his point, the faithless Ibis took some proof-sheets from under a wing and read excerpts.

Is the country going to the dogs? or are the dogs coming to us? A dog-trot poll taken on a questionnaire made up by the Lampoon chapter of the SPCA which will be reported in its forthcoming issue says it has been definitely established that "this is a dog's life." Lampy has been to a great deal of trouble in recent months trying to ascertain the dog's point of view. The survey took seven months and four days to complete, seven months and two days being devoted to the opinions of the Baffinland clamhound.

The first question, "Should it happen to a dog?," was answered as follows:

Old Dog Tray..."It certainly should not, etc."

Ching La Yin, a Chow, operator of a laundry and collar pressing establishment... "Voly had, sitilation practically intolilable. Have thiee sons, Ching Lo, Ching Loo, and Ching Loo. Two are in Army, one is Plivate first class, other is not so Plivate, second class. Other day, Mrs. Yin say to me,

'Lu Yin,

How you bin?'

"I velly tlicky, say reply,

'Go to bed,

Quadruped."

"Is funny, no, is funny, ho ho ho." Mr. Yin's answer, Lampy apologizes, digresses from this point on.

Lampy also asked its canine friends what they thought of Shaggy Dog stories