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'Poon Pet Show Enjoys Brief Glory

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

More disastrous than the threatened floods, yesterday's unseasonable thaw flushed Lampoon editors out of their Gothic lair and into the streets of Cambridge for the most perverted gag the funnymen have pulled in many a long year.

It was all part of a combined initiation of candidates and celebration at the demise of the notorious Woop ring, and took the form of a pet show, band concert, parade and snowball fight on the steps of Widener. This last feature was unrehearsed and uncondensed by Chief of Yard Police Alvin Randall, who methodically began to collect Bursar's cards as his contribution to the fun.

The show was heralded by mimeographed programs distributed through the Yard late in the morning, proclaiming 8--count 'em--8 animal contestants, and listing their dubious pedigrees. Among the entries was Lucky Pierre--Out of Breath by Dint of Toil.

At one o'clock the crowd began to gather outside the 'Poon building, to partake of the free beer and listen to the serenade of a pick-up band. Forty-five minutes later every white shoe and club tie in Cambridge was there, but for some reason the animals were not. A murmur of expectation ran through the crowd as a peddler passed by with his horse and wagon, but negotiations failed.

Finally at two o'clock on the dot a car pulled up to unload five "fools," one rooster, one hen, one pig, one heifer, one dog, one goat, and one skunk. The crowd surged up Plympton Street, through the main gate, up the steps of Widener, in the front door, and through the reading room, band, animals, and enlookers which by this time included most of the Cambridge Latin student body.

At this point, the hen flew its coop and in the meice the animals were judged or something, and the crowd surged out the door again. Half of them went down the steps, but a hardy few remained at the top to pelt the populace with a rain of snowballs.

The aforementioned Chief Randall now arrived with a blue-coated assistant to reap his harvest of Bursar's cards. The 'Poon band and animals were dispatched via University Hall, Jim's Place, and the Coop.

After this, outgoing Boss Woop looked to his political patronage and called the parade. "The animals were getting cold and nervous," he explained, "and we didn't want any trouble with the SPCA."

A check with Dean Watson last night quashed the ripe rumor that the entire Lampoon board was threatened with probation, but Watson confided that he planned to confer with new 'Poon President George Plympton in the near future.

Last night the harassed "fools" torture continued at their Bow Street emporium, from whence issued shouts and sounds of shattering glass

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