CUTS Humbles Inept Yale Daily

Paced by the sensational squidging of Bob Whiteside, the Gargoyle Undergraduate Tiddlywinks Society (GUTS) stomped a pathetic Yale Daily News aggregation. Saturday, 32-10. The victory extends the GUTS winning streak to ten matches after the initial defeat at the fingertips of Oxford.

Whiteside featured the Harvard attack with two Carnovskis. (For the uninitiated, a Carnovskis, named for the man who first did it, is a hole in one, in which the wink is squidged directly into the cup from a distance of two feet.)

Eight members of the Harvard band were among the spectators who watched, consumed a half gallon, of sherry and egged GUTS on with such cheers as "Use Effective Strategy!" As is traditional since the Brown match last week, the Harvard all wore vests. Said GUTS captain Jim Parry: "It's dignified, it's British, and it keeps out ties from falling on the winks."