You know, I just can't figure it out; I mean I was figuring fifth, sixth, hell, I would have settled for seventh round. I was waiting by the phone Tuesday evening--no call. O.K., so the second day is no disgrace, take the bonus money and run--no call. Free agent then, I wanted the tryout, make the team, collect the play-off bonus money and renegotiate next year--no call.
Who the hell is Sean Clancy, or Bill Swiacki for that matter. Wow man, these two peons played for Amherst, they were Lord Jeffs; I mean what the hell is a Lord Jeff? These guys got drafted. And take Rich Moser from URI--please!
What really frosts me though is that all the work I put into getting ready for professional football has gone to waste. Way back, three or four weeks ago, I hit the weight rooms to "bulk up" and just two days ago I jogged a half-mile; I was ready. I had contracted an agent, Shep, who was ready to negotiate tooth and nail to win me a six figure contract. Now Shep wants his percentage, and I've got no money.
The way I figure it, I was a sure thing, there was no way they could pass me by. Unless...unless some running dog, some lick-spittle cur told them about the time I instigated last year's "how come there is no hot water in the showers" locker room revolt. "Death to the fascist imperialist coaches," I had cried, and now I am paying the price for my insubordination...I've been blackballed.
To be serious (not that the above was funny), it was no surprise to me that my phone never called me to gridiron glory, but this year's draft passed by a few quite legitimate pro prospects. We all know about Harvard's own Jim Curry; he's had the talent and potential to tear any league wide open, yet no team was willing to give him a chance to prove it.
The most obvious omission from this year's draft list, however, was, I am sad to say, a Yalie. Apparently the scouts thought John Pagliaro was too slow or too small or maybe they just don't like Italian running backs. But whoever said he isn't fast enough never tried to catch him as he turned it up around the corner, and whoever said he wasn't big enough never tried to tackle him as he lowered the shoulder. And, well, he still is Italian, but so is Franco Harris.
There is no doubt, though, that Pags will sign a free agent contract, and I would venture to say that given a decent look at his tryout, he'll make the grade.
Meanwhile, I'll wait by the phone for that call--I mean some team will break the boycott, right? I'm waiting....