Why Johnny Harvard Can't Party

THE temperature reached 95 degrees a couple of weeks ago. I think it's safe to say that spring has arrived in Cambridge. Fun, on the other hand, has not.

The arrival of spring on a college campus should mean a celebration. It should mean a time to forget about the lonely winter and bask in the warmth of the sun. It should be a time to forget that we made a stupid mistake by not choosing Stanford or Duke or any other university that would have saved us from the horror of New England winters, a time to frolic in the good weather while we can.

It should be a time to cut loose, lose all inhibitions through the use of whatever substances necessary, and to hold wild, crazy, unexpurgated, orgies.

Or at the very least, it should be a time for a Spring Fling weekend.

CAN anyone deny that we deserve it? After sitting through large and boring Core lectures, shivering through a cold New England winter and watching Dean of the College L. Fred Jewett '57 implement non-ordered choice, we deserve to forget our suffering and go nuts for a weekend.

I suppose that some people (mostly defensive Undergraduate Council members) would argue that spring activities better serve the Harvard community when they are spread out over a few weekends--a barbecue here, a few bands in the Quad there, a Ziggy Marley concert if we're lucky.

But rather than bringing the entire community together at different times, the effect of the events is diluted. A small percentage of the student body goes to each event, and the rest of the students grind away as if it were any other time of the year.

For one weekend, all Harvard students need to put everything aside and say what the f-heck.

Is there a good reason why every other college with something resembling a campus has a "spring weekend," "Springfest" or "Spring Fling?" Tufts had one. Penn recently had its Spring Fling. Even Wellesley, whose students are notorious for leaving campus for a social life, had one, goshdarnit.

Meanwhile, Harvard sat on its collective ass.

We could have been having some fun. Entertainment in the Quad, bands between Memorial Church and Widener, carnival-like games down by the River, volleyball and softball down by Soldiers Field Park, food and drink everywhere.

At night, the bands could get going again, with dancing all over campus and more rapid flow of the fine ale. The "Bring On the Summer" parties would kick in, with shorts the norm and Good Vibrations everywhere.

This could have all happened on the weekend before Reading Period. It didn't.

THE people in charge of organizing spring activities sit on the Undergraduate Council's social committee. When asked about the lack of a Spring Fling this year, members cited reasons ranging from "we thought it would be better to have different activities spread out over different weekends" to "what if it rained that weekend?" to "we had complications with the dates of each activity."

Some may question the necessity of the Undergraduate Council or any other group planning our fun. Don't kid yourselves. We need organization to have fun. We need to be able to whip out our appointment books and pencil in "FUN--9:51 p.m. to 12:37 a.m." We need to be able to calculate the optimal factor allocation of work and play in order to achieve maximum efficiency.