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Nothing to Complain About

By Edward F. Mulkerin iii

There is a ludicrous idea currently seeping into the Yard from some malcontents up at 29 Garden St. that must be nipped in the bud. It seems that some first-years living at there feel they should be given preferential treatment in this spring's housing lottery.

They apparently believe that low lottery numbers in the spring would be fair compensation for the cruel fate of being assigned to 29 G. The Committee on House Life (COHL) should not allow this unworkable, unfair and logically flawed demand to come to fruition.

COHL says those rooming groups comprised of at least 75 percent 29 Garden residents would receive preferential treatment. Obviously there's a big incentive for most current 29 Garden rooming groups to stay together. At the least, 29 Garden residents would have a special incentive to live with one another.

Under the 75 percent plan, many people who had never lived at 29 G would benefit from the alleged suffering of those who had, making residents of the Garden the most desirable roommate commodity come springtime.

How many incompatible rooming groups will form to acquire this special treatment? How many unhappy 29 G groups will stay together for the same reason?

The argument for special treatment also implies that the residents of 29 Garden St. haven't already been given something for their alleged suffering.

First of all, they were given the nicest rooms of all first-years, tucked away in a quiet setting far from Mass Ave. They have kitchens, elevators and wall-to-wall carpeting, amenities that are afforded nowhere else in the Yard.

They were even given T-shirts with "Every Yard Needs a Garden" emblazoned across the back. In terms of day-to-day living, the first-years at 29 G may be some of the luckiest on campus.

Lastly, this ludicrous proposal assumes that the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune all landed over 29 Garden. Many residents of the Yard are unhappy with their roommates, the proximity of their dorms to classes or the disrepair of their suites. Canaday residents complain about the fire station.

Union dorm residents complain they are separated from Yard life. Lionel and Mower residents complain that no one knows where they live. Wigglesworth residents complain about the T. Thayer residents complain about, well, Thayer.

If this moronic Garden appeasement movement is allowed to gain any steam, where will the pity party end? Will the residents of Matthews demand to live in Eliot en masse because they will be displaced mid-year?

Will the first-years in Straus get their housing choice because they are kept awake by the strains of Flathead, the mediocre street musician? What will be the renumeration for the inhabitants of Canaday because their dorm is just plain ugly?

COHL would be well advised to ignore the whining of these disgruntled Garden residents and force them to do what they should have done from the beginning.

Deal with it.

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