DART BOARD

THE HYPOCRITICAL SOCIETY

Earlier this month, numerous dutiful and super-stressed pre-meds took the MCAT. They marched off to test centers like lemmings, eyes glazed over from fatigue, ready for their date with destiny. For the vast majority of them, taking the MCAT was the most important event in their lives to date.

But maybe the MCAT isn't the "be all and end all" of human existence. Perhaps there is something more to life as a pre-med than organic chemistry, four-color pens and Cabot Science Library. Perhaps pre-meds are capable of doing something other than working in their labs, cramming for exams and bragging about the difficulty of their classes to all people who aren't pre-meds.

Well, a group of courageous premeds is willing to bet that pre-meds can transcend their stress-filled, petty and pedantic existences. Earlier this spring, 10 undergraduates started the Hippocratic Society, a pre-med ethics society.

Yes, a pre-med ethics society. Can anyone say "oxymoron"? Now, we at Dartboard will readily admit that premeds don't have a monopoly on unethical behavior. The pre-law and pre-investment banking students are pretty evil too. But at least they're honest about being sleazy. Unlike the pre-meds, they don't try to hide their sliminess and greed behind a veneer of altruism.

What kind of activities will the Hippocratic Society be involved in? We can only imagine. Here are some suggestions: "Acts of Omission, Acts of Commission." A lecture on how to use interesting distinctions in moral philosophy to justify (read: rationalize) sabotaging your enemy's lab project.

"Problem Sets, Lies and Videotape." This seminar will teach you how to tear down the answers to problem sets and erase Cabot Science Library videotapes without getting caught.

"Medical Ethics in the 1990's." Who can pre-meds turn to as role models? To help answer this question, the Society will screen several episodes of the popular sitcom Melrose Place. Pre-meds can learn about professional conduct and the human side of medicine from a great husband-and-wife team: Dr. Michael Mancini and Dr. Kimberly Shaw.

In all seriousness, the Hippocratic Society may not even be this active. The group is probably not going to have a huge impact on the pre-med community here at Harvard. Perhaps it will meet once, maybe twice.

But even if it does next to nothing, the Society will have served its purpose. Being a co-founder or member of a pre-med ethics society will look great on a resume or an application to medical school.