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VOTING FOR DWARVES

The editors take aim at the good, the bad and the ugly.

By Adam I. Arenson

We at Dartboard are shocked, amused and visibly pleased. Quietly, a revolution is occurring and two major American magazines should be rethinking their idea to take the content to the people.

What is causing the furious forwarding and guffaws from all seasoned 'Net jocks? Well, Time magazine created a Web page so people could help vote in the most popular entertainers, historians, and scientists of the century, as well as the man of the century who deserves to grace Time's cover and represent this century's accomplishments and tragedies. And People magazine put their 50 Most Beautiful People up to a vote for the third year in a row. That's huge. Awe-inspiring. Incredibly powerful. And potentially lots of fun.

First, the nation of Turkey got excited by their right to vote--and promptly filled all the Time categories with Mustafa Kemal Ataturk, founder of the nation following the decomposition of the Ottoman Empire. Yes, that's Ataturk for entertainer of the century. Yet perhaps an even more worthy and hilarious use/abuse of the public poll is underway on the People magazine Web site. Howard Stern, rightfully calling into question the idea that 50 actors, models and other celebrities' pictures do anything for national morale, has started a campaign of his own--for Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf. And Stern and friends are succeeding: Hank, the Angry, Drunken Dwarf, is so popular that he has gone from write in to actually being on the ballot. Not to mention the fact that he leads the next contender, Leonardo DiCaprio, by 153,872 votes.

Both People and Time are now in the indelicate position of honoring their votes or asserting editorial control, and we at Dartboard have a bad feeling about what will happen. Still, it is fun while it lasts: go cheer on Hank the Dwarf and start purchasing that Ataturk memorabilia.

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