The RaHooligan: The (Bad) World of Sports Under President Strom
O gentle readers, with our national presidential election only one week hence, it is time for this writer to express his heretofore-hidden views on this matter of great national importance. Several years removed from the Second World War, many pundits in these pages have called for the Re-Election of President Truman, the Hero of Hiroshima and Man from Independence (Missouri). Others plug the virtues of the Thomas Dewey/Earl Warren Republican ticket.
But I find these men of the Parties not at all compelling; and so it is that I make my endorsement of that Gentle Giant, and current Governor of the Great Palmetto State (South Carolina)—Mr. J. Strom Thurmond. Running on the strong backs of men of Industry and a States’ Rights platform, Governor Thurmond is uniquely qualified to lead the Nation through “all these problems” it faces.
From my desk in Cambridge, the largest problem, of course, is the recent integration of the Negro in our Great American Past-time, the game of Base-ball. This so-called “Branch” Rickey and his artful Dodgers have turned the sporting world upside-down with the inclusion of Jack Robinson in regulation base-ball. It is an outrage! A black man playing amongst his betters—and this Robinson has no respect! I am told that Robinson led base-ball in the dubious categories of “steals” last season—and yet he is allowed to continue playing despite this chronic kleptomania. I am also told, though I did not see him play a game myself, that Robinson was voted by the National Media (of which I mysteriously did not receive a ballot) to be the league’s Rookie of the Year over the Giants’ Larry Jansen. Larry Jansen!
And yet through the course of this year 1948, at the various campaign stops, I have heard nothing from President Truman or Dewey on the issue of the Negro in base-ball. All the talk is of Marshall plans and tax cuts and something about strengthening Security against Socialism (or perhaps Society—I’m not sure).
But Governor Thurmond has demonstrated his commitment to stopping Mr. Rickey and Jack Robinson with a vision that could only be formed under the auspices of his progressively humble Edgefield County, S.C. upbringing. First and foremost is a comprehensive plan against integration in all facets of life. Why is this important to the average Crimson reader? Imagine one day if you were to open these fair pages and see not a Caucasian writer but a Negro or—even worse—an immigrant from the shores of South Asia! Could you trust the newspaper then?
I had the good fortune of seeing Governor Thurmond at a whistle stop in northern Kentucky last month, and I inquired as to the specific situations of both Robinson and the Dodgers, as well as the possibility of future South Asian scribes. He was inimical to both. His exact words were unclear, obscured by the constant spitting and chawing, but I got the sense of it. Thurmond, if elected President, would send in federal troops to Ebbets Field to prevent Robinson or any future blacks from participating in the Great American tradition.
O enduring readers, we stand at a crossroads of history. On one side stand the Trumans and Deweys of the world, with their “civil rights” and Negro athletes in hand ready to impose on anyone, anywhere. Shall we allow this? If Base-ball goes, it will not be long before football, basketball and golf succumb as well. Ice hockey, I am told, is safe for at least another hundred years.
On the other side is Strom Thurmond. He will nip this sudden surge of Democracy in the bud. Jack Robinson will go back to the Negro Leagues and his Georgia homestead. Currently the support for Thurmond appears strong only in the Great States of South Carolina, Alabama and Mississippi, but we must correct for this by delivering Massachusetts and all of New England as well.
Let us not look back in hindsight, 54 years later, and think, “if only we had elected Thurmond in 1948.” This Governor lives by the seat of his pants—indeed, it was his heroism at Normandy that did the Krauts in. Thurmond will not be around forever. Voting for him means that one day, your white children will live safe in the knowledge that they can one day play first base for the Brooklyn Dodgers, without any competition from the Negro.
Or, if your offspring decide to enter the world of journalism, well, with Thurmond keeping the South Asians out, there ought to be some openings there too.
—Staff writer Rahul Rohatgi can be reached at email@example.com.