Cast of Characters

As the deadline for freshmen to submit blocking groups to the housing lottery draws ever closer, and interactions within groups of friends start to more and more resemble an episode of Survivor, I find myself reflecting on my own experience with blocking last year. For many in the class of 2009, it’s become increasingly obvious that the trouble we upperclassmen warned of—about forming blocking groups—has not been so greatly exaggerated as they thought. The unnatural requirement of selecting your seven “best” friends out of a group that, in all likelihood, far exceeds that number, leads to all sorts of plots, plans, and alliances, turning previously normal people into caricatures of their former selves. A few of the personalities that surface during the arrangement of blocking groups include:

The Peacekeeper: She loves everyone and doesn’t want any trouble and often arranges little meetings to facilitate nice dialogue between group members to ensure everyone’s happiness. Her refrain is, “I just wish there was a way we could fit everyone.” Alas, Peacekeeper, there isn’t any such way, which is why our next character comes into being.

The Manipulator: Easily identifiable, this is the girl who creepily taps her fingers together and mumbles “Excellent…” as two of her blockmates get into an argument at the dinner table. The Manipulator will use any possible situation to her advantage in order to create the “ideal blocking group” (read: the one with all of her desired people). She throws people out, she entices people in…and she’ll eventually be removed herself when her machinations are discovered.

The Waffler: Beleaguered and indecisive, this poor soul finds herself torn between one blocking group and another. With The Manipulator whispering in one ear and her other friends whispering in the other, it’s anybody’s guess where she’ll end up. At the end of it all, she’ll probably end up without a blocking group…“Sorry,” both sides will say, “we thought you were with the other group…”

The Hanger-On: By a thread, that is. Sometimes at odds with other members of the group, The Hanger-On will be unceremoniously voted off by the other group members if she so much as blinks at someone the wrong way. Just give them a reason. She is a favorite target of The Manipulator, who often aims to remove her in order to make space for The Waffler.

The Abstainer: Arguably the smartest one in the entire group, The Abstainer secured herself a space in the blocking group in December and has since almost entirely disappeared, only periodically resurfacing so she isn’t assumed dead and thus removed. Only concerned with the fact that she remains in the group, she has thus avoided any and all drama concerning who does or does not. The Abstainer will likely be the only one to emerge from the blocking process still having all of her friends.

Perhaps someday the administration will open its eyes to the drama that blocking causes and increase the size of groups so more people can be accommodated or—even better—eliminate the process altogether and simply let everyone choose their houses. But until that day comes, take heart, young freshmen—you’ll find a way to make it work. So what if you end up destroying lives and alienating half the people you’ve come to know and love? Someday you’ll all be able to look back on all of this and laugh…with the only seven friends you have left.

Ashton R. Lattimore ’08, a Crimson editorial editor, is an English and American Literature and Language concentrator in Dunster House.