POPSCREEN: Ludacris

Ludacris’ new music video has a lot in common with the 2000 blockbuster “What Women Want,” starring Mel Gibson. Like Gibson’s character, Ludacris has the useful ability to “know what women are thinking—at all times.” But Mel wouldn’t have a chance at being at this video’s party—I doubt that he can dance, and, more importantly, he’s just not cool enough. These guys are so fly they even made me jealous of the way they clap.

In the video, Ludacris and his friends, Sean Garrett (S.G. to his homies) and Chris “Breezy” Brown, rap and dance with scores of token, mind-blowingly beautiful women. The three apparently constitute the only males at the party, except for one scrubby dude who needs some Listerine and a couple of white men who appear near the end of the video having fulfilled Luda’s earlier request to “get some ice.” This appears to be their only function.

The soul of the video is, of course, the women’s thoughts that pop up in cartoon bubbles throughout. They range from predictable (“He got money!” and “Come and get it!!!”) to mildly insightful (“I’m pretending to be bored!” and “That’s a weave!”) to absurd (“Oh no… I think I have gas” and “Groupies!”). Inexplicably, a bald woman thinks, “Pull my hair.” Women are crazy.

Ludacris, the rapper whose modest height will always belie his astronomical self-esteem, constantly reminds us that he both subjugates women and deeply respects them. After spitting “So get loose and slide off your damn garments / Show ’em who’s the boss, they take orders from the sergeant,” he gets sentimental at the end, reclining among his adoring hos. “I love y’all,” he says; “There’s not enough time.” Aw, Luda. How sweet.