Hey everyone, UHS is doing something helpful and kind of awesome! They’ve recently stepped up their smoking cessation programs with increased publicity, a dedicated counselor, and--best of all––free nicotine patches.

Back in our high school days, FlyBy remembers that the cool kids used to use nicotine patches and gum just for the slight buzz. It was a lot more discreet than smoking, but it might as well have been a tattoo that said "I think I'm a badass!" Prediction: As people take advantage of free and easy access to nicotine, it won’t be long before “patches” supplant laundry room quarters as the currency of roommate transactions.

Of course this is great news for people who actually would like to quit smoking. If that’s you, you should probably head over to UHS to enroll sooner rather than later before all the junkies abuse the system. The Advocate has already signed up as an organization, so all members are automatically registered.

Free is definitely cheaper than cigarettes and whatever else you’re smoking, and this way avoids bad breath and smelly clothes. What could possibly go wrong here?

No, seriously guys.