I stumbled into the Adams dining hall last Thursday at an ungodly hour in the hopes of digging into a juicy omelette, a pile of crunchy bacon, and maybe a flapjack or two. But I was instead hit by the harsh, cold reality that is breakfast on a (tanking) budget. I scanned the hall to see what other poor creatures were eating at this “breakfast,” and came to the realization that there were nearly as many hand sanitizers present as there were people (It’s hard to tell if the dining halls are serving food or prepping for surgery...). I decided to postpone my personal (mal)nourishment and fulfill my duty as Roving Reporter by asking my fellow students what they thought about the criminal lack of hot breakfast during the week this year.
Andrew M. Goldberg ’10, Lowell
RR: How do you feel about the cuts of hot breakfast this year?
AMG: Annoying. Kinda rude.
RR: You don’t think cottage cheese and ham are breakfast foods?
AMG: Those aren’t food at all.
RR: Well do you have a favorite knockoff cereal here?
AMG: I don’t eat those, but I do like the hemp and granola. Especially the hemp. It’s kinda like getting high.
RR: And then I guess that helps you eat more... What would you do for an omelette
AMG: That’s not printable.
Richard A. Newcomb ’12, Dunster
RR: Do you miss the hot breakfast?
RAN: Well, I just had a waffle. It was semi-warm.
RR: How many hot breakfasts do you think we could buy if we sold that 60 inch flat screen T.V. in there? I’m not so sure that I need to see slideshows about squash in HD.
RAN: (Laughs) A lot. At least 50 or 60.
RR: Wow, you must be eating some expensive breakfasts. Have you ever been to Saturday breakfast? I thought they should have tried cutting that first.
RAN: Once. Usually there is no way in hell I would be at Saturday breakfast.
Lisa S. Ma ’12, Quincy
RR: So how’s your breakfast?
LSM: Eh. It’s gonna be pretty much the same everyday.
RR: Personal issue here for me... I’m from the South and an admitted grits lover. Even when they had hot breakfast, they never had grits. Do you even know what grits are?
LSM: Is that that pink stuff?
RR: (Look of horror. Sadly shakes head.)
Christine Wu ’12, Adams
RR: Being a varsity volleyball player, how have the cutbacks of hot breakfast affected you after your morning practices?
CW: Well, we don’t have many morning workouts, but my first craving was definitely eggs and toast after morning practice. And I don’t know how some of the other athletes like the crew and football guys survive now.
RR: There’s been some controversy over grits this morning. What are your thoughts on this food of the gods?
CW: Well they have other ethnic or regional foods, it doesn’t seem very expensive, and there are lots of people here from the South.
RR: Amen sister.
Miyoko T. Pettit ’11, Mather
RR: Do you have a favorite among our collection of knockoff cereals?
MTP: The crack. Cracklin’ Oat Bran.
RR: Maybe not the best time to be making drug references on campus... too soon?