Penn-Dartmouth Headlines Weekend of Ivy League Play

Efficiency. I’m a fan.

So with the University administration asking for student thoughts on the General Education program and fans wondering about the state of the Ivy League, I figured I would help both at the same time.

Without further ado, here is a breakdown of all eight Ivy teams (six play their first league game Saturday) and which Gen Ed course each would be. Picks for each game this weekend are below.

Brown (0-2, 0-1 Ivy) – Empirical & Mathematical Reasoning 17: Deductive Logic. Given the fact that the Bears have to replace 11 starters on offense, and knowing they were only a middle-of-the-pack team last year, it makes sense that Brown has started the year 0-2. If EMR 17 doesn’t fit its schedule, the Bears also look like a perfect match for EMR 14: Fat Chance.

Columbia (0-2, 0-0) – Ethical Reasoning 11: Human Rights. Is it ethical to beat the Lions 402-73, as the 10 teams who faced Columbia did combined last year? The Light Blue appears fated for a similar string of embarrassments this year after 49-7 and 42-7 losses to Fordham and Albany, respectively.

Cornell (0-2, 0-0) – Science of the Physical Universe 26:  Primitive Navigation. After losing NFL hopeful quarterback Jeff Mathews to graduation, the Big Red appears lost and its road through the desert of irrelevance appears long.

Dartmouth (1-1, 0-0) – Culture and Belief 30: Seeing is Believing. Is the Big Green for real? A week 10 upset of Princeton to finish 2013 vaulted them into consideration among the conference’s best, but they will have to prove the offense can replace Dominick Pierre. With Penn and Harvard—the only Ivy teams to beat Dartmouth last year—going to Hanover this season, the Big Green has no excuses. It is show-me time.

Harvard (2-0, 1-0) – Societies of the World 19: Western Ascendancy—The Mainsprings of Global Power from 1400 to the present. The Crimson has not ruled the Ancient Eight for 600 years, but it feels like it has. Harvard has claimed a league-high six conference titles since 2001 and the Crimson has won 82 percent of its conference games during that stretch.

This year, the Crimson’s biggest threat to continued success appears to be itself, as injuries to senior quarterback Conner Hempel and junior running back Paul Stanton have led to a slow start. If the two can get healthy by the midway point of the season, look for Harvard to maintain its place near the top of the pecking order.

Princeton (1-1, 0-0) – Aesthetic and Interpretive Understanding 57: American Dreams. What is more American than eating clubs and being the richest University per student? A lot? Oh, well how about rags-to-riches stories and unfettered greed? No self-respecting screenwriter would cast Princeton students in a tale of social mobility, but this year’s seniors started their Princeton careers by going 1-9 in 2011. They improved to 5-5 in 2012 and then earned a share of the Ivy title with an 8-2 mark last season.

Like any good American, Princeton is now dreaming of more. And with Ivy League Player of the Year quarterback Quinn Epperly returning, the Tigers have a good shot at repeating.

Pennsylvania (0-2) – Culture and Belief 35: Classical Mythology. The Quakers appeared immortal in the Ivy League, winning six titles in an 11-year stretch ending in 2003. They have won just three championships since then and a 3-4 Ivy record last year has them back in the middle of the pack. Starting 0-2 this season does not bode well for the ending of the Legend of Al Bagnoli in the coach’s final season. Given its recent struggles, Penn also qualifies as Study of the Past.

Yale (2-0, 0-0) – Science of the Physical Universe 18: Time. As in it’s about damn time. After a six-year stretch of ordinary, the Bulldogs have made a strong argument for being back—starting 2-0 and beating FBS-opponent Army to get there. Running back Tyler Varga will be tough to deal with as long as he stays healthy and quarterback Morgan Roberts showed his potential by throwing for 376 yards and four scores in week one.

On to the picks.

HARVARD AT GEORGETOWN

Long considered an academic competitor to the Ivy League, Georgetown is not quite at the Crimson’s level on the football field. Even with its offense limited by injury, Harvard should manage to dispatch Georgetown in time to see the sights.

Prediction: Harvard 24, Georgetown 10

YALE AT CORNELL

The toughest part of the weekend for the Bulldogs will be locating Ithaca, N.Y. Assuming they find it, Roberts and Varga should have a field day as the Big Red continue to put the L’s in Cornell.

Prediction: Yale 38, Cornell 17

PRINCETON AT COLUMBIA

This score will be whatever the Tigers want it to be. I’ve already written more words than points the Lions will score, so I’ll stop.

Prediction: Princeton 59, Columbia 7

BROWN AT RHODE ISLAND

Ah, the famous battle for the Governor’s Cup fought between the 0-2 Bears and the 0-4 Rams. Does it get more Rhode Island than that?

Prediction: Brown 23, Rams 19

PENNSYLVANIA AT DARTMOUTH

This game is the most interesting of the weekend, and it should be the best. Last year, the Quakers escaped, 37-31, in quadruple-overtime. Look for Dartmouth to beat Penn for the first time since 2007 Saturday (though the last five contests have been decided by an average of 5.6 points) with a stingy defense and just enough big plays from junior quarterback Dalyn Williams.

Prediction: Dartmouth 20, Penn 17