eva and nacho cuffed
To cuff or not to cuff, that is the question of this winter season.
Flyby writers Eva S. Monroe ’18 and Ignacio Sabate ’18 have a lot of feelings, and they’re ready to share them. In Flyby’s newest series, these two sit down to discuss the more weighty topics on campus, like Bean boots, Pumpkin Spice Lattes, and how to get the best lighting for your Instagrams. Wait, that makes them sound really basic. You know what, ignore all of that, let them do the talking.

This week, Eva and Nacho take on the phenomenon of ‘cuffing season’ and the abomination that is PDA.

Nacho: Wait, so what even is cuffing season?

Eva: You haven’t heard of this? I feel like I see people complain about this on the internet all the time. And in real life.

Nacho: Nope.

Eva: Well, it’s this phenomenon where, when the weather starts to get cold, people seek out relationships. So as soon as the clock strikes November–

Nacho: That’s not how clocks work.

Eva: People just suddenly, like, pair up. It’s supposed to be like handcuffs, like you’re handcuffing yourself to someone for the winter because you don’t want to be cold. You want to have someone to cuddle with without having to go through a lot of effort.

Nacho: Maybe it’s like, an evolutionary response? Like in the winter you want to have more warmth in your bed.

Eva: I think when people were still evolving they didn’t have beds yet.

Nacho: Fine, in your cave, whatever. But I feel like it’s annoying to be cuffed to someone during the winter, because you have to travel to visit them. Why not just be single and not travel? Like, what if your significant other lives in the Quad. Would you visit them in the middle of February?

Eva: But then you’re cold. Wait– you know those weird creepy body pillows? Do you think they make those but with heaters inside so they’re warm? Like body heat? Does that exist?

Nacho: Umm, Eva, that’s really weird… That’s also actually a really good idea.

Eva: I’m going to be rich.

Nacho: But wait– cuffing. Does other people being in a relationship affect you?

Eva: Yeah, if they’re in my face about it. Get a room! But I’m super single so maybe I’m just jealous.

Nacho: Oh, yeah, PDA is a no-no. Like, I see that and I’m like, do better. I could do better.

Eva: You compare yourself to random boyfriends?

Nacho: Maybe… But I think you’re right. I think I’m more likely to be in a relationship in the winter. I guess that’s legit. Do you think that’s true?

Eva: I don’t think I have enough evidence to make a real claim either way.

Nacho: I mean, I think there’s sufficient evidence, at least when we’re talking about me. I feel like cuffing season happens to me, now that I think about it.

Eva: What about other people though? It’s not just about you.

Nacho: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


The Verdict
Cuffing season’ is a weird and slightly uncomfortable term for a (probably) real phenomenon. Eva remains unconvinced, and male Flyby readers are welcome to take that as a challenge. PDA is always gross, unless Nacho is involved apparently, because he can do better? Nah, still gross. So, happy November...go and seek out your partners before winter approaches.