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The History of Harvard's Commencement, Explained

Gridiron Authority Foresees Lopsided Victory for Crimson

By Hu FLUNG Huey occ

The Sage of the Age rapped his gavel. "The Association of Sayers will be Cummings to order. Alvarez all our associates?"

"They've Gannon up to Dartmouth to see Howe the Crimson can Russell up the touchdowns," answered his scribe. "Why Dewey stay here when we should Carey ourselves up to Hanover?"

Hu Flung cleared his throat, "First, a prediction. I'm kind O'Leary of my crystal ball, because Douglas is dirty, but it's Plain that the Redis open for a Crimson win. We'll Rusch them so hard they won't know whether they're in Madison Square Gardiner Hanover, Markhamy words, the score will be Harvard 20  Dartmouth 5

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