Charleses in Charge

This past weekend being the Head of the Charles, FM wondered what precisely was going on in the heads of
By T. D. Franken

This past weekend being the Head of the Charles, FM wondered what precisely was going on in the heads of various Charleses around Harvard. Were they thinking about rowing, or collegiate competition? Not since Charles Schultz’s witty comic strip “Peanuts” has there been such a rich collection of personal thoughts from guys affectionately called “Chuck”:

Charles P. McCormick ’03, Pforzheimer House:

“I was thinking about something one of my suitemates had said about how funny it would be if they presented my head to the winners of the Head of the Charles Regatta as the ironic trophy of the event with the same name...

“Then I thought about the tone of his voice, and whether or not he was joking, and how well I really knew my suitemate, and I kept my mother-fuckin’ distance the rest of the day.”

Charles S. Maier ’60, Krupp Foundation professor of european studies:

“Some say it’s sport to row, some say to run;

This Charles has rued he’s never crewed;

Still for o’er 20 years whene’er he races

It’s legs, not arms, he puts through paces.”

Charles L. Black ’04, Pforzheimer House:

“Head of the Charles? I’ve never seen so many Sun Visors and Oakleys in my life. I hope the Radcliffe varsity light weight wins, especially because the stroke is hot. But what I’m really wondering is: Why did my roommate get arrested? Shit. We ask him, but he just says, ‘Don’t worry about it.’”

Charles S. T. Howe ’04, Eliot House:

“What’s in the head of this Eliot sophomore? The electro-melody of ‘Mr. Roboto,’ Styx’s much-maligned space-age political allegory, has been keeping my brain company for days now, and I’m just thrilled. But I’m still looking for translations of ‘Domo Aragato’ and ‘Himitsu wo shiri tai’....”

Jaap Overgaag, manager of Charlie’s Kitchen:

“Nice happy sporty people! I hope they have a great time and come back next year!”

Charles M. Moore ’04, Dunster House:

“1. What the hell is going on between the sheets in my home?

2. It’s amazing that I never noticed that Tyra Banks had a big forehead.

3. Why didn’t I just go to state school? DAMN IT!

4. I wonder if my roommate, Shaka, would get mad if I hooked up with his hot sister.

5. Who invited Gas-sius Clay?”

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