Finagling Bagle Proves Difficult

The art of bargaining is dead, at least in America. Yet one beloved area bagel chain promises that services are negotiable. Now no one knows the allure of a catchy, meaningless rhyme more than the FM staff, but could this truly be a sham? Can an honest man finagle nothing these days? FM investigates.

Take 1

Fifteen Minutes: Hi, can I have a free bagel?

Finagle A Bagel: Ummm...what?

FM: Can I have a bagel for free?

FB: You have to pay just like everyone else.

Take 2

FM: Hi, can I have a free bagel?

FB: No.

FM: How about a cinnamon stick?

FB: No.

FM: Stick?

FB: What?

FM: Stick.

FB: Why are you saying that?

FM: Stick!!!

FB: Do you want me to call to [sic] police?

FM: Yes. I mean no.

Take 3

FM: Hi, do you like chocolate?

FB: Yes.

FM: Do you like music?

FB: Yes.

FM: Do you like money?

FB: Yes.

FM: Can I have a free bagel?

FB: Yes. I mean no. You have to pay just like everyone else.