The art of bargaining is dead, at least in America. Yet one beloved area bagel chain promises that services are negotiable. Now no one knows the allure of a catchy, meaningless rhyme more than the FM staff, but could this truly be a sham? Can an honest man finagle nothing these days? FM investigates.

Take 1

Fifteen Minutes: Hi, can I have a free bagel?

Finagle A Bagel: Ummm...what?

FM: Can I have a bagel for free?

FB: You have to pay just like everyone else.

Take 2

FM: Hi, can I have a free bagel?

FB: No.

FM: How about a cinnamon stick?

FB: No.

FM: Stick?

FB: What?

FM: Stick.

FB: Why are you saying that?

FM: Stick!!!

FB: Do you want me to call to [sic] police?

FM: Yes. I mean no.

Take 3

FM: Hi, do you like chocolate?

FB: Yes.

FM: Do you like music?

FB: Yes.

FM: Do you like money?

FB: Yes.

FM: Can I have a free bagel?

FB: Yes. I mean no. You have to pay just like everyone else.