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SCREENSHOTS: Marie Antoinette

By Juli Min, Crimson Staff Writers

Remember those precious high school years? The dabbling in drugs, alcohol, and those first awkward forays into love and sex? That time when we didn’t have pestering things like midterms, problem sets, or eRecruiting to worry about?

OK, maybe most Harvard students spent most of their teenage years saving Darfur and curing AIDS.

But whether you got all of those beautiful awakenings in high school or during a crash-course on one hazy night on your first weekend at Harvard, they were undoubtedly great times.

Watching Sophia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette” is like living through those firsts all over again, except in castles with champagne pyramids, satin shoes, and a country under one’s own reign.

So, in celebration of those good times and Antoinette’s 252nd birthday, which arrives today, pop open a bottle of Moët, forget about midterms for a few hours, and let the nostalgia wash over you.

TAKE A SHOT...

1. Take a shot for every different American or quasi-European accent in the film. “We’re too indie for cultural accuracy!” the film cries.

2. Take a hesitant sip for each of Louis XVI’s awkward attempts at deflowering or even talking to his fifteen-year-old bride.

3. Take a celebratory swig at the couple’s long awaited consummation!

4. Perform a group alcohol-waterfall for Antoinette’s intellectual renaissance: The scene in which she reads Rousseau aloud in a flowering garden of enlightenment.

5. Five shots for her foray into pink hair. We’ve all done it during that pre-teen punk-rock phase—or at least wished we could have pulled it off.

6. A toast to love at first sight! Because anyone would fall in love with Count Fersen (male model Jamie Dornan) and his lustful looks.

7. A shot for Antoinette’s herbal excursions—outside in a circle, her tentative inhalation, a stifled cough, a sly grin, and giggle.

8. Cheers and au revoir at the end: To youth, to carelessness, to excess, and naiveté. Death rears its ugly head for Antoinette and the French Revolution takes hold. Alas, youth is transitory, and…isn’t that investment banking application due next week?

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