SCREENSHOTS: 'Halloween'

It’s Halloween again, which means lots of tacky costumes, sugary candy, and, of course, horror movies. For those of you disappointed by “Saw V,” perhaps a little throwback is the remedy. This year marks the 30th anniversary of the original “Halloween,” the slasher movie that created and set the standard for most of the stereotypes seen in modern horror flicks. Besides, there have been enough “sensible” killers like Jigsaw and Hannibal; nothing beats a completely ruthless psychopath massacring scores of frightened, corrupt teenagers. So grab your shot glass and crack open a bottle of your drink of choice, because “Halloween” is going to take you back to the roots of horror.



TAKE A SHOT…



1. When you learn in the opening scene that the killer is six-year-old Michael—but 99.99% of you already had the twist spoiled for you, so take a couple of shots in mourning. For the three people whom I just ruined it for, drink the same. Mea culpa.

2. Every time Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) speaks. His Frankenstein-esque lines like “The evil is gone!” and “I realized what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply—evil” are so ridiculously over-the-top that your brain requires numbing.

3. Every time the main “Halloween” theme is played. No, wait, that would put you in the hospital way too fast. If you are truly feeling adventurous you could take a shot every time any of the musical themes play, but that would probably kill you within the first 20 minutes.

4. Every time you see Michael, then camera pans away, pans back, and he’s disappeared without killing anyone. This also could kill you, so go easy here.

5. When Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) finds all of her friends’ bodies, because “Halloween” originated this shocking moment. For those of you who expected tons of blood and guts in the movie, take a shot in sadness, because the movie will disappoint you.

6. Whenever Michael could have killed Laurie by running instead of walking.

7. When Michael sneaks up behind the couch where Laurie is sitting and tries to stab her, yet misses by four feet. This is the cheesiest, most irritating action that later slasher movies rip off.

8. No, I take it back. Every time Laurie thinks she’s slain the killer and drops the knife right next to him, take a shot. This truly is the cheesiest and most irritating action that is later ripped off.

9. When Michael disappears in the final scene after taking multiple bullets on top of multiple stab wounds. Only a true badass could do that and still be up for another eight movies.