Artist Profile: Eli Rallo on Rules, Rejection, and Writing

“I Didn’t Know I Needed This,” Eli Rallo’s nonfiction literary debut, is an honest, vulnerable, and inspiring guide to navigating all of life’s moments — from dating, sex, flirting, heartbreak, friendship, and self-love. Rallo’s advice, presents as lists of rules, foregrounds moments from her own dating life, bringing readers along with her on exhilarating second dates, difficult conversations, and moments of authentic reflection.

The format of this memoir originates from Rallo’s TikToks, where she shares an assortment of advice ranging from “rules for a mental health day” to “rules for cuffing season” and everything in between. In an interview with The Harvard Crimson, Rallo delved deeper into her approach, giving advice both across social media and throughout her book.

“I just want to show up for those people and be the person that has their best interest at heart to the best of my ability,” Rallo said in an interview with The Harvard Crimson.

Giving advice on heavy topics, such as relationship dilemmas or mental health, can be taxing. However, Rallo’s emphasis on maintaining boundaries when it comes to her social media presence ensures that she can give advice to others with care.

“I’m always making sure that I feel really mentally good on the day that I’m gonna sign up to be a part of someone’s life,” Rallo said.

Despite the highly personal nature of “I Didn’t Know I Needed This,” Rallo didn’t find writing about her past to be especially challenging. Her focus on the present drives her, and she’s excited to share stories that she is still connected to, but doesn’t identify with anymore.

“I’ve made so much peace with all of that and I am so consumed and concerned with my present. I kind of consider that to be a version of me that is dead,” Rallo said.

This approach to revisiting her history was freeing to Rallo, though she shared she’d probably write the book differently if she were to do it again.

“While I feel like the advice that I gave and the stories that I shared live in perpetuity, I would probably do it differently now,” Rallo said. “Every year of my life, I feel like I would write a different book.”

Though Rallo was always writing throughout her childhood, her undergraduate degree from the University of Michigan School of Music, Theater, and Dance, along with her masters degree from Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism, have proven invaluable to her. From tackling the project of going on a book tour in 2024 to informing the life experiences that inspired the book’s content, Rallo’s background in the performing arts and reporting was uniquely crucial to her memoir.

“I’m so lucky that I studied such disparate things and that I had the opportunity to be educated in theater and then also in journalism,” Rallo said. “While neither of those things taught me how to write a book, they taught me so much about life and art and my own voice.”

Rallo’s playwriting experience and her ability to work under pressure for several theater productions aided in the development of her book tour, both in its content and the logistical planning of such an endeavor.

“It’s a very special skill set. It’s like ‘the show must go on’ mentality,” Rallo said. “Working with a theater person, you always know you’re going to have someone that’s ready to tackle high level high-stress situations.”

Feedback from friends and family from the pre-order party for “I Didn’t Know I Needed This” inspired the atmosphere Rallo hopes to achieve throughout her book tour. People from a variety of communities, such as her lifestyle influencer colleagues and book and theater content creators, enjoyed a sociable environment and left the party with new friends. In the year of the Barbie movie and the Eras Tour, in which women have found positive community with each other, Rallo wants to provide an additional space for people to have fun and form new connections.

“I feel like one of my goals is for people to take away something they didn’t know they needed — whether that’s a laugh or a lesson or just putting their stresses aside and for a few hours just enjoying themselves — and also that they meet someone they didn’t know walk in the door knowing,” Rallo said.

Her mindset about rejection has also profoundly impacted Rallo for the better when pursuing her book deal and making that dream a reality. She encourages other creatives to view rejection rather as redirection, and to remember the motivation behind creating art.

“I think that it can be so discouraging to hear ‘no,’ but you have to reframe it a bit as a superpower, as that unknown, as an exciting new direction that you’re going to take,” Rallo said. “You have to remember why you started creating, whether you’re an artist, whether you’re a filmmaker, writer, any sort of creative, you have to remember ‘what made me start doing this?’”

Though “I Didn’t Know I Needed This” is set to be released on Dec. 12, Rallo has already started work on the early stages of a second book and hopes to return to theater someday. For now, however, Rallo is focused on taking things one day at a time.

Rallo’s candor about her approach to giving advice and her dedication to curating a safe, welcoming space for fans during her book tour reflect the confidence, vulnerability, and tenderness within “I Didn’t Know I Needed This.” From navigating a talking-stage relationship to rules for creating friendships, Rallo’s debut book has something for everyone.

—Staff writer Anna Moiseieva can be reached at anna.moiseieva@thecrimson.com. Follow her on X at @AMoiseieva.