Quiz: What (Remote) Snackpass Deal Are You?

By Delano R. Franklin

Sure, we might not be on campus right now, but imagine all the great ways we can use Snackpass once we’re back to perusing the Square! Take this quiz to figure out which deal you should take advantage of next semester.

1. You forgot that there’s a five-page essay due tonight at 11:59 p.m. Your plan of action is…

A. Cancel your plans, sit down, and utilize everything you learned in Expos to piece together a decent paper.

B. Watch Tik Toks for three hours, then haphazardly throw together an essay to submit at 11:58 p.m.

C. Ask for an extension, duh! There’s nothing a little “I hope this email finds you well” won’t fix.

D. You’re funny if you think that paper is being submitted on time.

2. Harvard has just announced that all students are being kicked off campus in five days time. The first thing you do is…

A. Go on a Harvard Square Eating Tour with your best friends while you still can.

B. Clear the gcal and get ready for five straight days of *daytime happiness*!

C. Storage? Shipping? You settle down for an early quarantine in your dorm to figure out the logistics.

D. Well, you haven’t been going to lecture, so the move-out and online classes aren’t really fazing you. Is there still Brain Break though?

3. R.I.P. Yardfest 2020. If you could've planned it, though, your ideal headliner would definitely be…

A. Doja Cat. Is that even a question?

B. Hear me out: Soulja Boy.

C. …Honestly, Carly Rae Jepsen would be pretty dope.


4. While your professor is droning on during your Zoom lecture, you are…

A. Scrolling through your phone to make sure you don’t miss the latest “I’m posting on my story from quarantine” trend.

B. Constantly changing your screen background to see if someone will notice.

C. Private chatting with your friend — just be careful not to send to “Everyone!”

D. What Zoom lecture? I don’t even have a webcam.


Mostly A’s: $1 Otto Pizza

You’re the reliable friend who is always there if anyone needs you. A constant presence likely to be found in Cabot Library at odd hours around the clock, others can count on you to not know what the lecture was about, but still have the most well-written notes to share. The $1 Otto pizza slice had your back when you were running from your p-setting session in Smith to a comp meeting in Sever, and will (hopefully) welcome you back with open arms in the fall!

Mostly B’s: 50% off Ben and Jerry’s

You’re spontaneous and adventurous in all the best ways. You were probably first in line buying out the LamCaf cheesecakes when the fateful email dropped in our inboxes. Right now, you’re either dying of loneliness in quarantine or in Miami after purchasing your $45 round-trip flight to Florida (please don‘t do the latter). When we’re back on campus, use this deal to splurge on the $50 Vermonster so it becomes a $25 treat split between you and your bestie.

Mostly C’s: 10% off Zinneken’s

Let’s be honest, you may come off as a bit stingy and haughty, but at least you’re fiercely independent and a Time Management boss. Cold emailing professors is second nature to you, and Bluestone Lane opening in November was the best thing to happen all of first semester. Once this quarantining business is all over, an Instagram story featuring Zinneken’s will be how you announce your return to campus in the fall.

Mostly D’s: Subway in the Garage Happy Hour

You’ve always kept to yourself, and the latest disastrous events of 2020 couldn’t change that even if they tried. You’re always chilling in the same seat of Science Center Hall B and somehow manage to make an appearance at every free food event on campus. Naptime is the highlight of your Gcal, no matter whether you’re on campus or on Zoom. Come next semester, taking advantage of Subway’s Happy Hour deal and visiting all the other restaurants in The Garage will be like sinking into a warm bath for you.

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