Why do we say that October 5th is the cutoff date for Add/Drop? And why do we say that it’s the 11th Monday of the semester for Pass/Fail? Honestly, who came up with these arbitrary dates, and who says we should listen to them? While we wait for those answers to roll in, Flyby offers more logical options that should benefit both students and faculty when mapping out arbitrary academic deadlines. Out with the old and in with the new!

The Night Before the Harvest Moon

The 5th Monday: no. The night before the Harvest Moon—yes, yes, yes! Something about the fall equinox is like a spiritual reset. It brings mental clarity and cleansing energy, helping you decide whether that class with a great lecture but a god-awful section is worth the hour-a-week of torture you’ve been putting yourself through, or if it’s finally time to pull the trigger and drop it. That one Neil Young sound works as a great theme song for pondering, too.

When HUDS has had Pizza in the Rotation at LEAST Twice

Honestly, as one of my favorite lunch options, pizza seems a pretty solid predictor of success, both socially and academically. This isn’t even up for debate either, because you can say that HUDS pizza isn’t that good all you want, but even the Quad dhalls are running out of pies. And it’s because you people (me) come and shove six pieces into that little green box. Your greed sickens me.

Quad Grille’s Grand Re-Opening

Speaking of the Quad, we really shouldn’t have to decide if we want to Pass/Fail our courses until Quad Grille finally re-opens. I mean, is there really any community on campus that can quite top the chosen family that magically forms at 1:34 a.m. on a Tuesday in the Pfoho JCR over Oreo milkshakes? I think not. I think it’s time to postpone our collective academic crashout until we can all sit on a comfy couch and commiserate in peace over sugar and even more sugar.

The Final Day of the Flu Vaccine Clinic

Seriously, it is actually sort of sick (get it, hahaha) that Harvard conveniently places vaccination holds on your my.harvard account just in time for Add/Drop. It’s their twisted way of telling you to get your sh*t together and figure out whether the honeymoon phase of that one course you convinced yourself you would love because it fits perfectly in your schedule is actually a match made in heaven. All while being stuck in line for 2+ hours in Smith, waiting to get your flu shot in the most dehumanizing shot-conveyor-belt line known to man. The least Harvard could do is wait until the annual Flu Vaccine Clinic is over and we are all Officially Flu-Protected™ before forcing us to make major life class decisions.

The First Time CityMapper is Actually Accurate

Raise your hand if you have been personally wronged by believing that CityMapper would actually be better somehow than PassioGo. I didn’t think an app could be more confusing, but boy was I tricked. It’s honestly impressive how bad the tracking system is. So yeah, when pigs fly, or when my shuttle on a rainy day actually comes when it says it will, that’s when I should be allowed to drop my class, thank you very much.

The First Time You are Late to Your 10:30 a.m.

Super relevant to my last point (please see above, xoxo). This is honestly the beginning of the end, made even sadder because it’s not even 9 a.m. I think this course deadline is subjective and changes from person to person, so the shame of your laziness finally gets penalized more strictly than just your attendance grade. I am also just tired of having to get up and move my bag in these tiny lecture hall desks for all you late-comers, so yeah, get it together. Or else face the wrath of an earlier Add/Drop period…

When it is Sub-50 Degrees

Yeah, speaking of the beginning of the end, this is a big one. The second I see a puffer jacket on campus, it’s done. All my motivation is gone. Whatever good momentum I had going in the summer (cough cough, first weeks of September) has diminished. Give me a few days to process this drop in productivity, then let me contemplate my life choices and adjust my schedule accordingly. Thank you.

After the First Chem17 Midterm

Every year without fail, everyone becomes emotionally invested in the Chem17 midterm. Especially those who aren’t even enrolled in the class, because they, too, must suffer the consequences of that one roommate wanting to be a doctor. That’s how you end up on the floor of your common room gently holding a Chem17 survivor as they cry into your arms about their grade and how now they’ll never get into medical school. Just kidding, but for their sanity, and ours, please just let us all wait until they get those grades back or something to Pass/Fail, please. I’m begging.

The First Concert Everyone Collectively Goes To

No, I don’t mean Crimson Jam because everyone actually needs to go to it, silly goose. I mean that first random concert that suddenly everyone and their mother has an interest in, and your Instagram feed is just flooded with shaky videos of TD Garden—Charli XCX, I’m looking at you. This can be like the last hooray you get before you need to make serious decisions about your academic career, so I think it works.

When flyby Misses a Day of Posting

Which is never, obviously. So you are welcome in advance! Pass/Fail AND Add/Drop deadline extended into infinity and beyond!

There you have it, all of our proposals for better dates than some random Monday in November. These should work much, much better, and honestly, should even have some sort of casual relationship with better grades. With the new grade cap, we, as students, need to be more prepared than ever before if we want to succeed in this dog-eat-dog world. These dates would accomplish just that! If any administrators are reading this and you find yourselves nodding along to our suggestions, you know where to find us…