“Everything Must Go!”: Including the Senior Sale Itself?
We’ve all seen the emails: “FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED! SENIOR SALE!” I’ve fallen for the bait more times than I’d like to admit, only to find myself staring at a dusty bathmat and someone’s inhaler pasted onto a blank Google slide. All this, too, for prices that put HUDS guest passes to shame.
Since there appear to be few, if any, qualifications for publishing a senior sale, I thought I might throw my hat in the ring. Enjoy, below, Charlotte’s Sophomore Sale Extravaganza.
All sales are final. Pickup is in the Lamont basement women’s bathroom. You do NOT want to miss out on this sale!! Here’s what you (yes, YOU) could get:
- Q-Tips (lightly used) - $4
- Waterlogged Ec10 Notes (not mine; contact my suitemate for details) - $5
- Includes elasticity and debt sustainability!
- Deeply Offensive Tablecloth - FREE
- Ugly Floral Skirt I Clearly Don’t Want - $25 (negotiable)
- $20 Bill (mint condition!) - $22
- Large Wooden Clogs - $15 for one, $25 for two
Something that’s Surprisingly Pretty Good- SOLD!- That Crimson Sweatshirt Everybody Got for Free at Orientation (never worn) - $10
- Fortune Telling - $8
- Pretty accurate! Limited time offer.
- Chapstick that Smells Okay - $2
- Blouse (large oil stain on chest, but otherwise good condition) - $28
- Alarm Clock - $12
- Unsure how to get it to stop playing “Dance Monkey.”
- Nondescript Pantaloons - $8
- “I Love Cambridge” Headband + Neck Warmer - $6
- Fits best on unusually wide heads.
- Straw Broom of Dubious Origin - $9 or best offer
- Boiled Egg - 75¢
- Charlie Card (cash balance unknown) - $8
- Password to my Sister’s Netflix - $20
- Does not include the last two characters.
- Venus Fly Trap - $17
- Cool Stick - $2
- Makes for a fun hike! Sourced from the tree behind Lev.
- Includes elasticity and debt sustainability!
- Pretty accurate! Limited time offer.
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- Unsure how to get it to stop playing “Dance Monkey.”
- Fits best on unusually wide heads.
- Does not include the last two characters.
- Makes for a fun hike! Sourced from the tree behind Lev.
Happy shopping!
