Hemenway Gym
Hemenway literally lit at night

Hemenway Gymnasium is a popular spot for all the active students of Harvard. And who can blame them? The multi-story building boasts a simple architecture, a basketball court, and two squash courts for those of us who are too pretentious to play any other racquet sports. Here's a breakdown of the types of people you'll encounter if you ever happen to swing by.

The 24/7 Law Student

Yes, we all know that Harvard Law School is a big deal. But do you really need to prop your books on the bench while working out? Expect to see this type of person during odd hours, since they’re really just odd people. Don’t even try to out-bench them. They even put plates on themselves.

The Hardcore Runner

They were runners in high school, and all they’re good for is running. Just swing by the cardio section to observe these treadmill addicts toil in the same place for a whole hour. Honestly, that’s all they can do.

The Stretch Master

These people work out by doing ridiculous stretch routines on the mat areas the entire time they're at Hemenway. And the thing is, it seems to work (how did they get so jacked?)!

The Fragile Freshman

If you’re a regular at Hemenway, you’ll know that it’s mostly populated with fully grown adults (i.e. frustrated law school students) who boast well-defined physiques and respectable quads. However, there’s a sprinkling of pasty freshmen who decide they finally want to transform. After all, a lifetime of math competitions, music conferences, and claiming ultimate frisbee as your daily workout only gets you so far. You’ll probably see them scurrying around in the low-weight racks and attempting to use the flat bench press. But kudos to them!

The Squash Douche

The name says it all.

The Chest Day Everyday Bro

To this person, the bench press is all that exists. Every other machine is useless, since they don’t contribute to the ‘gainz’. You’ll easily be able to pick him out. Just look for someone with an overblown bust and stick legs.