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Element 1: Dante’s Literal Hellium

By Charles K. Michael
Atomic 666. During the bitter winter months, this element presents itself in abundance in the greater Cambridge area. When the atoms of this treacherous element reach their ninth electron orbital, they accumulate to form a perilous, icy, Dante-esque inferno. Manifesting as a terrifying combination of liquid and solid, this element transforms the Harvard campus into an enormous ice skating rink where scurrying undergrads constantly threaten to slip and crack their skulls like little eggs on the frosty pavement.
Atomic 666. During the bitter winter months, this element presents itself in abundance in the greater Cambridge area. When the atoms of this treacherous element reach their ninth electron orbital, they accumulate to form a perilous, icy, Dante-esque inferno. Manifesting as a terrifying combination of liquid and solid, this element transforms the Harvard campus into an enormous ice skating rink where scurrying undergrads constantly threaten to slip and crack their skulls like little eggs on the frosty pavement.

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