Robot! What are you doing? You can't take MY job!
Robot! What are you doing? You can't take MY job!

Fifteen Jobs That Will Still Be Around Once the Robots Take Over

Will you be out of a job once the robot apocalypse hits? Probably, unless you're Coach Brady.
By Matt B. Hoisch and Samantha J. Meade

Envelope licker: For that special someone overseas, give it that S.W.A.H.T. (Sealed With A Human Tongue) touch.

Airport shoeshiner: There’s not really a need for them now, so chances are they’re not going away any time soon.

CVS clerk who mans the self-checkout area: They help you with robots that already exist. Why fix what’s already broke?

Backscratcher: There’s nothing like nails that haven’t been cut in two weeks to relieve that can’t-reach itch.

Club bouncer: Robots are supposedly terrible at taking bribes and judging fake IDs.

Person Who Says “I Object” at Weddings: Brad was warned she had a whole lot of crazy hiding behind her MySpace profile; he was just too blinded by love…

US Open Ballperson: Pouncing on dead balls? Wiping sweat? Wearing head-to-toe Ralph Lauren? Not even robots are that desperate.

Mall Santa: Robots just can’t muster the same pedophilic, holly-jolly smile as they ring a Salvation Army bell outside Macy’s.

P.E. Coach: A robot can’t replace Coach Brady bellowing “PAIN IS WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!” through a megaphone as you shimmy four feet up a braided rope.

Zipper Fixer: Got the inside lining of your jacket caught? Let us know when robots get opposable thumbs.

Shoulder To Cry On: Robo-love just ain’t the same.

Fortune Cookie Writer: Your Summer Consulting Internship is on the horizon. Your lucky numbers are 09 30 02 34 57.

Hibachi Chef: No way a robot could build that onion volcano with such TLC.

Reality T.V. Star: We won’t even be able to pretend it’s unscripted.

Magazine Writer: Fingers crossed…

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