Eventually, Bakshi heard a voice for “the first time in forever.” God? The ghost of Increase Mather? The Taco Nacho Salad Odor brought to life? No: the elevator’s telecom system. (When we press about the duration of “forever,” Bakshi clarifies that it had in fact been only 20 minutes.) The voice belonged to a serviceman who said, “We’ll have somebody come over to you right now.”
With a limited amount of things to do in quarantine, FM is coming back from its six-year hiatus to provide advice to our eternal and anonymous freshman, Josh. We’ve asked FM writers to help Josh come up with some new ideas to help pass his time in quarantine. Josh didn’t even ask for FM’s advice — so you can be the judge of who’s really crying for help here. Anyway, here are their expert answers.
"Players circle the stick without a second thought. But I see you, stick. Your wood is scuffed with the markings of love and life, beauty and pain, paint worn along the edges. Some days, I am you. And others, sadly, I am the player. As I face the rink, a single tear rolls down my rosy cheek."
Harvard researchers shook the scientific world to its core on Jan. 22 when they proved that stress makes hair turn gray. On the heels of their groundbreaking discovery, the researchers have published a series of equally revolutionary papers.
Over the weeks, I witnessed many other strange occurrences. I would hear the speaker blasting music, look outside, and see not a party, but two men at the outdoor tables, adding irresponsible investments to their stock portfolios. Once, I saw a singular man doing squats with a keg on his back while using the speaker.
A number of gates on Harvard’s campus that mark the entrance to University-owned space mysteriously bear the insignias of various Harvard final clubs. But since 1984, when nine all-male clubs officially severed ties with the university, all such social organizations have remained formally disaffiliated from the school.