The following is a transcript from Cookie Monster’s recent guest lecture at the Harvard Business School. Like Kim K., he also wore his finest pinstriped pantsuit, black leather trench coat, and (though not for public viewing) SKIMS undergarments. Unlike Kim K., Mr. Monster opted to perform his speech to the tune of his smash hit, “C is for Cookie.”
Your least favorite person in your Social Studies seminar visits a therapist. But don’t worry, “Harvard Man” — an archetype that plagues this particular ivory tower — isn’t cured. He will still interrupt you to explain your own lived experiences to you tomorrow.