Levity
Advice For Josh: How to Get Out of a Rut
We asked our editors for their best tips on how to emerge from a late-spring trough into a glistening summer. Here is what (a few of them) had to say.
Buying the UC Like Russian Oligarchy
Dear reader, I am here to ensure that this part of history does in fact repeat itself. No, no, I’m not preying on anyone’s downfall. It’s already happened! After 40 years, the Harvard Undergraduate Council has fallen. And I will certainly take advantage of this momentous opportunity to acquire some of the UC’s most coveted assets.
Remy the Cat, An Ecological Menace
With over 12,000 followers on Instagram, Remy has undoubtedly become one of the most popular animals on campus. But his celebrity obscures all the questionable actions that cast doubt on whether we should uplift him in the first place: is Remy really the friendly cat that he purports to be, or is he “purr” evil?
Rat Traps Levity
Cambridge is shelling out $50,000 for high-tech rat traps. But will they be enough to stop the ultra-savvy rats that roam Harvard's halls?
A Rat-Free Harvard: A Transformative Experience Awaits
I dream of a college experience where I can walk the streets of Mass. Ave without the fear of encountering one of these monstrous creatures careening toward me during a late-night CVS run. Even so, I know better than to underestimate what the rats around here are capable of, and I worry that our little friends here might be clever enough to evade the devices poised to eliminate them.
Professor Swae Lee
At Yardfest, Swae Lee said he was at Harvard to teach a course on how to "get lit." I'm happy to announce that course is now here and ready for pre-registration.
How to Get Lit: A Syllabus
Created in conjunction with Swae Lee himself and the elusive owner of the Harvard State Instagram account, GENED 42069: How to Get Lit will approach the most important question of Generation Z from multiple lenses: legal, psychological, and field research.
How to Give Your Pre-Frosh the Real Harvard Experience
Where else can you actually take a class with a world-renowned professor, the one you gushed about in your Common App, only to discover that they don’t know how to teach?
Harvard's Squirrels: A Brief Investigation
The squirrels on Harvard’s campus work tirelessly to achieve quite literally groundbreaking discoveries in the field of acorn-stashing and to innovate new styles of nest architecture.
As the College Lifts its Mask Mandate, Students Have Mixed...Appearances
I scan the room. I am surrounded by wide nostrils, tiny chins, and, oh dear god, goatees. My eyes are burning. Everyone is so… ugly.
No, I Will Not Stop Calling the Cops on Quad-Goers
Do you have any idea how loud a kid’s birthday party is? Why would I tolerate that noise when I could just call the cops?
Mom, I Just Got River'd
I know, I know — it used to be different. Back when you were here, everyone wanted to get river’d. But this isn’t the ’90s: Now, the Quad is the place to be.
Good Luck, River Run
Visiting every single river house in one night and drowning in alcohol seems so totally earnest and desperate that to do so, in my view, will condemn you to Currier. But others, obviously, disagree.
MTV, Welcome to my Crib: Lamont Library
You can kick back, watch some TV, chill with your friends — it’s fantastic.
Advice to Josh: What is Love?
February is scary for a lot of reasons: three of Taylor Swift’s exes have their birthdays this month, The Boy Scouts of America was founded back in February 1910, and Valentine’s Day exists. Between wondering why hearts don’t look like anatomical hearts and how the Datamatch algorithm works, this amorous holiday can be a confusing time for many people, but for no one more so than our cherished, forever-freshman Josh. He needs FM’s help to get to the root of what this holiday is all about. We’ve asked some of our writers to help Josh answer the age-old question: What is love?
Venn Diagram: Electric Scooter, Henry Tudor
Ever wondered what that lacrosse boy who nearly ran you over in the Yard and the 15th-century monarch who famously beheaded his wives have in common? You know you have.
Starbucks’s War on Time
IT IS 50 DEGREES OUT. WAKE UP. REMOVE YOURSELF FROM STARBUCKS’S HOLIDAY SIMULATION. YOU ARE IN A DYSTOPIA CONTROLLED BY A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COFFEE COMPANY.
Every Week, It's a Week
The latest addition to the lineup of cultish Kirkland activities, this is the Kirkland Choosening — the weekly Sunday night ceremony that inaugurates a new theme for the week as soon as the clock strikes midnight.