These Harvard NFTs Are Too Hot to Cancel

This all got me thinking — if I want to commodify clout, controversy, and kill the environment, then Harvard has about 380 years worth of history doing just that. So here is what I present to you: The Harvard NFT Collection.

Increase Weekly Productivity by 40 Percent With This One Weird Trick

Ah, yes. College-sanctioned Relaxation Time. Nothing promotes Wellness more than gaslighting yourself into believing that you don’t need to panic over your Gov 20 essay when you definitely do. Luckily, a year with my high school ex had prepared me well.

Chester A. Arthur: Patron Saint of Imposter Syndrome

Presidents, they’re just like us! Chester A. Arthur, a New Yorker who served as the 21st president of the United States, had no business being where he was and was wildly unpopular and unqualified for his job. We all have a little Chester in us. This one goes out to you, Chet:

Calendar Illustration

Working through the weekends

Inside Mather Tower’s Metal Cage

Eventually, Bakshi heard a voice for “the first time in forever.” God? The ghost of Increase Mather? The Taco Nacho Salad Odor brought to life? No: the elevator’s telecom system. (When we press about the duration of “forever,” Bakshi clarifies that it had in fact been only 20 minutes.) The voice belonged to a serviceman who said, “We’ll have somebody come over to you right now.”


But in that moment, lying on my back, as the adrenaline wears off and I feel searing pain spread into my right foot, left knee, left hip, elbows, and shins, I have a moment of clarity: “Wow, this hurts way fucking worse than getting quadded.”

Advice to Josh: Quarantine

With a limited amount of things to do in quarantine, FM is coming back from its six-year hiatus to provide advice to our eternal and anonymous freshman, Josh. We’ve asked FM writers to help Josh come up with some new ideas to help pass his time in quarantine. Josh didn’t even ask for FM’s advice — so you can be the judge of who’s really crying for help here. Anyway, here are their expert answers.

To All the Napkins I’ve Loved Before

Are the majority of Leverett House residents really all that dedicated to reducing waste and saving energy? And if not, who took away our napkins?

Alec sports 2

Women's Ice Hockey snatched a victory 4-3 against Colgate on Saturday afternoon at the Bright-Landry Hockey Center. Although the game has started, there are no players in Alec's visual field.

What Are Sports? An Intrepid FM Reporter Inquires

"Players circle the stick without a second thought. But I see you, stick. Your wood is scuffed with the markings of love and life, beauty and pain, paint worn along the edges. Some days, I am you. And others, sadly, I am the player. As I face the rink, a single tear rolls down my rosy cheek."

Abstracts from the Harvard Laboratory that Proved “Stress Makes Hair Turn Gray”

Harvard researchers shook the scientific world to its core on Jan. 22 when they proved that stress makes hair turn gray. On the heels of their groundbreaking discovery, the researchers have published a series of equally revolutionary papers.

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