Levity
Inside Mather Tower’s Metal Cage
Eventually, Bakshi heard a voice for “the first time in forever.” God? The ghost of Increase Mather? The Taco Nacho Salad Odor brought to life? No: the elevator’s telecom system. (When we press about the duration of “forever,” Bakshi clarifies that it had in fact been only 20 minutes.) The voice belonged to a serviceman who said, “We’ll have somebody come over to you right now.”
Advice to Josh: Quarantine
With a limited amount of things to do in quarantine, FM is coming back from its six-year hiatus to provide advice to our eternal and anonymous freshman, Josh. We’ve asked FM writers to help Josh come up with some new ideas to help pass his time in quarantine. Josh didn’t even ask for FM’s advice — so you can be the judge of who’s really crying for help here. Anyway, here are their expert answers.
My Mom is My Proctor and It’s Not That Chill
Many would think that, as freshmen, moving back in with our parents would not be that big of a deal, given that we have only been in college for six months. They are wrong.
Love in the Time of Corona: Long Distance Edition
The classic Zoom movie night! Spend some quality time arguing over who has to deal with the screen share lag.
To All the Napkins I’ve Loved Before
Are the majority of Leverett House residents really all that dedicated to reducing waste and saving energy? And if not, who took away our napkins?
Alec sports 1
Staff writer Alec P. Kahn stares into the transparent glass that encases the rink and looks into his reflection.
Alec sports 2
Women's Ice Hockey snatched a victory 4-3 against Colgate on Saturday afternoon at the Bright-Landry Hockey Center. Although the game has started, there are no players in Alec's visual field.
What Are Sports? An Intrepid FM Reporter Inquires
"Players circle the stick without a second thought. But I see you, stick. Your wood is scuffed with the markings of love and life, beauty and pain, paint worn along the edges. Some days, I am you. And others, sadly, I am the player. As I face the rink, a single tear rolls down my rosy cheek."
Abstracts from the Harvard Laboratory that Proved “Stress Makes Hair Turn Gray”
Harvard researchers shook the scientific world to its core on Jan. 22 when they proved that stress makes hair turn gray. On the heels of their groundbreaking discovery, the researchers have published a series of equally revolutionary papers.
Veritas Meets Diets
I don’t think this diet is for me — the 1980s, it seems, were a time more conducive to spontaneous aerobic dance.
My Dorm Room is Messy and I Blame Entropy
I remember learning about entropy in my high school chemistry class: Iit’s something about the scientific tendency of a system to move toward chaos. I guess I’ll blame the messiness on that.
Paul G. Sullivan reads The Harvard Crimson
Paul G. Sullivan reads an edition of the Harvard Crimson's newspaper, the daily that Pete Buttigieg wrote a regular column for during his years as a student.
Living Next to the Fly Turned Me Into a Party Girl and My Life Has Never Been Better
Over the weeks, I witnessed many other strange occurrences. I would hear the speaker blasting music, look outside, and see not a party, but two men at the outdoor tables, adding irresponsible investments to their stock portfolios. Once, I saw a singular man doing squats with a keg on his back while using the speaker.
An Interview With [Redacted] Gate Bearing [Redacted] Final Club Logo
A number of gates on Harvard’s campus that mark the entrance to University-owned space mysteriously bear the insignias of various Harvard final clubs. But since 1984, when nine all-male clubs officially severed ties with the university, all such social organizations have remained formally disaffiliated from the school.
Porcellian Club Gate
One of the various gates on Harvard's campus bearing a final club logo. Definitely not the gate we interviewed for this article. This gate is a different gate.
Fly Club Gate
Another gate bearing another final club's logo. Also not the gate we interviewed for this article.
“Totally Random” GenEd Lottery Questionnaire
Have you ever looked into the sky on a Tuesday afternoon and fallen out of existence, because the universe is SO BIG and you are just so, so small?