Levity


Advice to Josh: Quarantine

With a limited amount of things to do in quarantine, FM is coming back from its six-year hiatus to provide advice to our eternal and anonymous freshman, Josh. We’ve asked FM writers to help Josh come up with some new ideas to help pass his time in quarantine. Josh didn’t even ask for FM’s advice — so you can be the judge of who’s really crying for help here. Anyway, here are their expert answers.


To All the Napkins I’ve Loved Before

Are the majority of Leverett House residents really all that dedicated to reducing waste and saving energy? And if not, who took away our napkins?


Alec sports 2

Women's Ice Hockey snatched a victory 4-3 against Colgate on Saturday afternoon at the Bright-Landry Hockey Center. Although the game has started, there are no players in Alec's visual field.


What Are Sports? An Intrepid FM Reporter Inquires

"Players circle the stick without a second thought. But I see you, stick. Your wood is scuffed with the markings of love and life, beauty and pain, paint worn along the edges. Some days, I am you. And others, sadly, I am the player. As I face the rink, a single tear rolls down my rosy cheek."


Abstracts from the Harvard Laboratory that Proved “Stress Makes Hair Turn Gray”

Harvard researchers shook the scientific world to its core on Jan. 22 when they proved that stress makes hair turn gray. On the heels of their groundbreaking discovery, the researchers have published a series of equally revolutionary papers.


My Dorm Room is Messy and I Blame Entropy

I remember learning about entropy in my high school chemistry class: Iit’s something about the scientific tendency of a system to move toward chaos. I guess I’ll blame the messiness on that.


Living Next to the Fly Turned Me Into a Party Girl and My Life Has Never Been Better

Over the weeks, I witnessed many other strange occurrences. I would hear the speaker blasting music, look outside, and see not a party, but two men at the outdoor tables, adding irresponsible investments to their stock portfolios. Once, I saw a singular man doing squats with a keg on his back while using the speaker.


An Interview With [Redacted] Gate Bearing [Redacted] Final Club Logo

A number of gates on Harvard’s campus that mark the entrance to University-owned space mysteriously bear the insignias of various Harvard final clubs. But since 1984, when nine all-male clubs officially severed ties with the university, all such social organizations have remained formally disaffiliated from the school.


Porcellian Club Gate

One of the various gates on Harvard's campus bearing a final club logo. Definitely not the gate we interviewed for this article. This gate is a different gate.


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