FM Imagines: Alternatives to Concentration and Secondary

At Harvard, majors are called “concentrations” and minors are called “secondary concentrations.” We know what you’re thinking: That’s unnecessarily fancy and vague. Below, FM imagines better labels.

Major, Minor

It is your dear writer’s opinion that these highfalutin appellations are as pretentious as they are absurd; a rose is a rose and all that.

MAJOR, Major

NOTHING CONNOTES MORE AUTHORITY, MORE PRESTIGE, MORE VIGOROUS INTENSITY, THAN SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS.

Colonel, Major

We need an upgrade, so why not promote our titles? What’s better than a major? A colonel, that’s wot!

Majeur, Mineur

Harvard’s first rule when it comes to classing up something; if you want it fancy, it has to be in French. Eliot’s fanciest party isn’t called “Fête” for nothing.

Secondo, Contorno

These are words that describe different parts of an average Italian meal. Secondo dishes typically consist of a meat or fish. A contorno is a vegetable that accompanies said meat or fish. *kisses fingers*

Hypocenter, Epicenter

We are talking earth-shattering achievement here, so why not call it what it is?