In Which I Have a Brief Chat With the Political Consultant Who Stands Outside My Window Every Night, Trying To Tempt Me Just Like Satan to Eve in the Garden of Eden

ME
Today I learned what the Baltic states are.

POLITICAL CONSULTANT
Today?

ME
Today. It hadn’t really come up before.

POLITICAL CONSULTANT
Cool.

A pause.

POLITICAL CONSULTANT
You know, more Presidents of the United States have come from Virginia than anywhere else in the country. More have been Episcopalian than they have any other religi—

I close my third-floor Winthrop House window so that I can no longer hear the POLITICAL CONSULTANT. Time for bed.

—Staff writer Eleanor M. Powell can be reached at ellie.powell@thecrimson.com. Follow her on X at @hmmellie.