Quintessential Harvard Student Lies
The vast majority of the time, our classmates are impressive individuals who truly have accomplished most of what is written on their resumes and make us feel worse about the current state of our own lives. Sometimes, however, they like to stretch the truth….
“I had Bean boots before they were a thing.”
Alright, so here’s the thing about Bean boots and your claim to fame in owning them before the rest of us– they’ve existed for nearly a hundred years, and chances are, unless your Bean boots are legitimately your grandparents’ and you legitimately live in Maine, you didn’t beat the trend that made news for its growing popularity more than three years ago. We know, we know, you’re from the Northeast! You’re no California kid trying to make do in his first winter! It’s okay– we won’t tell how recent your “rugged look” actually is.
“Grade inflation definitely exists here, but not in any of my classes.”
Ah yes, the classic “I am suffering more than you” comment, akin to the “I didn’t start my pset until 3 o’clock last night because I had an essay due at midnight” or the “I haven’t slept for more than 4 hours in 3 days” comment. Maybe it’s something about being a Harvard student, but we love our comparisons and our complaints. An A- is just not the same as an A, duh!
“Yeah, I participate in the hookup culture here.”
“I’ve always had a genuine interest in finance.”
For some people, this could be true– they receive equal amounts of joy reading the latest from the Financial Times or the Economist as they do in finishing the third season of “House of Cards.” Excel spreadsheets get their hearts racing far faster than any relationship ever could, and their feelings are best expressed in a set of Powerpoint slides. Why investment banking? It’s funny you should ask, because it all started at the age of three when I pulled my first all-nighter...
“FOMO doesn’t really affect me, you know?”
Oh, really? You’ve never gone to a party because your friends (or the girl of your dreams RSVP’d to the Facebook invite) are going? What do you even use Facebook/Instagram/Twitter for anyways? To stay updated on your side bar’s world news (sidenote: very helpful for pretending to be cultured and worldly)? We’re happy for you, we really are, but they also say the Friday night “freshman wander” can be a lot of fun! After all, what could be more fulfilling than getting rejected from yet another final club?!