Formals

Classes are over, the weather is warm-ish, and formal season is finally upon us, bringing with it the opportunity to get drunk every night of reading period at school-sanctioned events. But what fun would house formals be if you can’t use them to prove why your house is the best?

Since the angry emails, texts, and comments on Flyby’s Definitive Ranking of the 2015 Housing Day Videos only made me cry three times (okay, more like five...), we’re back with Flyby’s Definitive And Totally Not Arbitrary Ranking of the 2015 Spring House (plus Freshman) Formals. Please be nicer this time.

1) Quad Formal

Price: $25

Date: May 1

Location: The Quad

Theme: Wonderland

Comments: Three houses, 1 formal? Count me in. The Alice in Wonderland theme seems apt, because getting to the Quad feels like going down the Rabbit Hole, and every time I’ve been there, there are always some mysterious bottles that seem to say “drink me”... So take this chance to reunite with those friends from freshman year who got Quadded and you never saw again -- with all three Quad houses there, you’re bound to know a ton of people. Honestly, the only downside to Quad formal? It’s in the the Quad.

2) Lowell Formal

Price: $12

Date: April 30

Location: Lowell D-hall

Theme: Bacchanalia

Comments: As if the second-cheapest price of tickets and a theme that reminds us of togas and wine isn’t enough, Lowell’s formal always transitions into May Day. I can’t think of anything cuter than turning up till dawn and then waltzing by Weeks bridge to welcome in spring.

3) Eliot Formal

Price: $40 for two

Date: May 5

Location: Eliot Courtyard

Theme: Fête

Comments: Live swing band, Georgetown cupcakes, an ice sculpture. There’s a guest list. Suddenly, Eliot charging dues doesn’t seem so bad. It’s Fête. We know it’s going to be great. We also know that we aren’t in Eliot and can’t go unless we’re someone’s *special* guest.

4) Kirkland Formal

Price: $25 ($30 non-Kirkland)

Date: April 30

Location: Royale Nightclub

Theme: Royale Ball

Comments: Do you know what they call Kirkland formal in France? Royale Ball. Kirkland is clearly killing it -- formal at a Boston club (no thanks, I don’t want to get drunk in a D-hall, open bar or not), and you get a ‘free vintage Housing Day t-shirt’ with every ticket purchase. You go, Kirkland HoCo. Mainly for the free t-shirts.

5) Freshman Formal

Price: $25

Date: April 29

Location: Science Center Plaza

Theme: James Bond

Comments: I can think of a couple better uses of 25 dollars than getting drunk and awkwardly grinding on that kid from your Ec10 section in the middle of the Science Center Plaza. Namely, 3 Chipotle burritos with guac. Or a box of Franzia’s “Chillable Red” (no worries, the arsenic is included for free). Thanks again to the Class of 2017 for the location change -- love you guys! But, on the plus side, turning up next to the Yard means you save serious cash            not having to Uber there and back...more money for shaken-not-stirred Rubinoff martinis? And hey, James Bond may say you only live twice, but you only get to go to Freshman Formal once! (#YOGTGTFFO?)

6) Adams Formal

Price: $15

Date: May 1

Location: Adams D-hall

Theme: Masquerade

Comments: Props to Adams HoCo for choosing a really good theme -- not only are masquerades really cool (anyone know where I can get my hands on Jenny’s mask from that Gossip Girl episode?) but it also means you can make a complete fool of yourself and, hopefully, no one will know it was you. So go forth, wear a cool mask, and embarrass yourself in front of that cute senior you always see in the d-hall...they’re graduating anyways, so who cares?

7) Quincy Formal

Price: $20

Date: May 3

Location: Harvard Club of Boston

Theme: Q-ball: A Night on the Town

Comments: Extra points to Quincy for making their theme a pun. Expect many more penguin-themed puns regarding men in tuxedos. HoCo picked a great location with The Harvard Club of Boston: very swanky, very not-cubic or concrete. The downside -- transportation is only offered coming back to campus, so be prepared for a fun drunk uber/drunk T ride on the way there.

8) Dunster Formal

Price: $20

Date: May 2

Location: Dunster D-hall (At the Inn, not the construction site…)

Theme: Élan

Comments: To be perfectly honest, I thought that ‘élan’ was a type of French dessert, a theme that I would 100% support. But, after a quick Google search I have been informed that élan actually refers to either a Mexican alt-rock musician (notable hits include “Midnight” and “Al Lado Del Camino”), a sexual urge or desire, or a moose. I’m guessing at least two out of those three will be present at Dunster Formal. Clearly, it’s going to be a good time.

9) Mather Formal

Price: $10

Date: May 3

Location: Mather Sunken Courtyard

Theme: Spring Soirée

Comments: Mather tallies in at the cheapest formal, which is surprising, since you’d think they’d need to spend extra money on decorations to make Mather look pretty. But hey, for that price, as long as Soirée isn’t just Mather’s Housing Day video on loop, I’d be happy with pretty much anything.

10) Winthrop Formal

Price: $15 ($20 at the door)

Date: May 2

Location: Gore Courtyard

Theme: Arbella Ball

Comments: Winthrop formal is named after a boat. Maybe it’s a message to rising Throp sophomores (Thropmores?): at least you’re on the river! Could be worse! As a future Winthropian, I will probably be making an appearance. Does this mean I get to show up in my sexy sailor outfit left over from Halloween? All jokes aside though, there isn’t much information in the HoCo email about the formal itself, but I’m sure it will still be better than Freshman Formal. Or First Chance Dance, at least.

11) Leverett Formal

Price: $25

Date: May 2

Location: Stapleton Courtyard (McKinlock)

Theme: Luxe

Comments: The only question I have for Lev is: will there be a bunny petting zoo like on Housing Day? Because I’m not really sure what a Luxe theme entails, but I’m always down with bunnies. Lev also hired a professional live band (sorry, Intrinsics/Black Tie Affair)! Anyway, $25 seems like a lot to hang out in your House’s courtyard, but otherwise Lev’s formal seems like a good time.