Smith Campus Center Furniture Superlatives

Scientifically sound methods for testing new Smith Campus Center chairs
Scientifically sound methods for testing new Smith Campus Center chairs By Stuti R. Telidevara

Are you frustrated by Harvard’s administration and looking to make a difference? Are you tired of being ignored? Well, turns out there is a way to make your voice heard on the most pressing issue on campus today. Between October 11th and tomorrow, October 21st, the Smith Campus Center is showcasing their furniture options and asking for feedback. Bonus: they’re giving away pizza and salad! Come one, come all for some wacky pieces of contemporary design and the golden opportunity to see grad students — usually yelling at you for breathing in Widener — literally fall off their chairs. The furniture is organized into categories of outdoors, lounge, and workspace, but we at Flyby stopped by to better judge the chairs and sofas with our own superlatives. Now you know which sofa is the bounciest so you can beeline straight for it when you get there! You’re welcome.

Best to Spin Around On Until You’re Nauseous

Everyone knows office chairs are the real deal when it comes to the paramount issue of spin. We’re sorry to say that some of these swivel chairs were straight-up offensive — so low that it physically hurts you to keep pushing. But this superlative goes to a deserving competitor. Office chair 2C has leather padding and gleaming metal armrests, so you can feel like CEO of the world as you whirl yourself to dizziness.

Most Comfortable

Tied for this coveted title are lounge chairs 3C and 4C. Yes, 3C might look like strange, puffed-up lips in a way that makes you hesitate to rest your backside in it, but rest assured, it’s worth it. 4C looks like it was made for you to sink into — just let your whole body melt into those orange cushions. We’re probably going to petition to replace the standard dorm desk chairs with these. Imagine not having a permanent backache!

Comfort is key
Comfort is key By Stuti R. Telidevara

Most Bizarre

Lounge chair 4H is, well, weird. Its backrest extends all the way up and over your head when you sit in it, which feels a little like there’s someone standing over you all the time. Sure, it’s snazzy, but we can’t help but wonder, what’s the point? It’s not like there’s a light fixture built into the top, or anything… wait, that would be so cool. It’s okay to sit in, we guess. If you do sit in it, though, you’ll probably be contemplating the practicality of its design for a long while.

And the strangest chair award goes to...
And the strangest chair award goes to... By Stuti R. Telidevara

Best for the Stacks

“Sofa” 5A is immediately identifiable by the fact that it does not at all look like a sofa, and the fact that it has built-in walls. No lie! We at Flyby think this kind of privacy would be great for a comfortable spot to curl up in at the libraries in between study sessions. Not that we’re suggesting you do anything in it but nap and study, but… it has walls. Just keep that in mind.

Absolute Worst

Unsurprisingly, the beanbag selection reminded us of the expectations vs reality meme. As in, expectations: comfortable to flop onto, but reality: will probably make you break a bone if you try to jump onto it. Beanbag 6H should not have the honor of being called a chair at all, and is guaranteed to give you spine problems. In addition, trying to get up from this terrible excuse for seating space is close to impossible. When you finally manage to roll away from this red mass, you will feel nothing but relief and the painful loss of your own dignity.

Most Impractical

Damn, Harvard, back at it again with the unrealistic booty standards! Ottoman 4G is so small that it’s impossible to sit on without losing balance. It’s cute, sure, but only to look at. It apparently has wheels too, but that really only adds to its bad design; just try to move anywhere on it without falling over. We dare you.

Best Overall

It’s hard to combine aesthetics and functionality sometimes, but this chair goes above and beyond. Lounge chair 6G is more of an experience than a piece of furniture. It looks like a cross between a drum and a top, and while you might think it can only rock from side to side, this chair can literally rotate a full circle with you in it. Hang upside down or gyrate like you’re at the gym, because this was made for going all-out. We think this chair would be excellent in any context, whether it’s a fun distraction for fidgety folk or a great way to stay alive through a boring conversation. Never pull out your phone again! If you aren’t sold on the free food, please go for a chance to try this out.

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