How to Spot a Thesising Senior

By Megan M. Ross

We’re now in the home stretch of the year. We await the coming of spring, which will probably arrive by late May if we’re lucky. But also approaching very quickly (or slowly depending on who you are) are the deadlines for senior theses. Of course not all seniors will be trading in their social lives for some quality time with their laptop in the library this semester. In fact, there is quite a sharp distinction between your studious, stressed out, sleep deprived senior working on a thesis, and your checked out, never stressed non-thesising senior who seemingly never leaves the Dhall. Two very different breeds of senior who do not take being mixed up lightly. We’re here to help you spot the difference.

In their natural habitat, a senior who has decided to go on the journey called thesis will typically not be seen for months. This is because they’ll be at the same desk in Lamont Library for days in row. Or that cozy corner in the Starbucks until 1 am only to come back again when it opens at 5 am. A senior needs to find a place(s) to make his or her most coherent BS flow the best. And for most of them, this involves hiding out in some form of isolation with only the occasional Facebook stalking to them company.

In addition, often at their side would be at least one stack of books near them, though seven is more likely. It will never, ever be a neat stack. And you might wonder how they might be able to carry such a load from place to place. At its worst, a senior undergoing this mission will use a suitcase to shuttle the books they just decided to reserve from Widener. Be careful not to confuse this with students heading off to multiple consulting/finance final interviews.

But a way to differentiate those two would be the attire. A person going to said interview may already be wearing a suit/ dress despite the fact it actually occurs the next morning. The thesising senior will not be dressing up most of the time. They will wear the clothes that are easy to wear and will not waste any time they could spend actually outlining. So most likely sweats, greasy hair, and glasses will be your dead giveaway. In addition they might carry a smell that is a mix of old coffee, sleep deprivation, and of course, regret.

And finally if one gets very very close a senior, the best way to find out if there are doing a thesis is if they tell you. They will eventually talk excessively about each chapter of their thesis. Or how they did research for said thesis. And how they have their thesis advisor on speed dial. And just maybe, they will ask you for help naming it.

With these guidelines you should have no problem identifying, and avoiding at all costs, any thesising senior. If you should encounter one, please remember they often don’t have time for regular showers and thus should be admired from afar. Happy hunting.

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