Listen Up!: On Love and Neopets
Hello, Harvard. It’s your two favorite advice gurus back at it again, Betty and Hyemi. Last week, we asked you to submit your burning life questions to us (which you can still do here), and now we’re here to answer them. We’ve done some deep and introspective soul-searching and came to the conclusion that being part-time advice columnists is our calling in life, so we hope you appreciate our wisdom.
Am I hooking up with too many people?
Hyemi: This seems like one of those questions where you want to hear the answer “no” for affirmation, so no, you are not hooking up with too many people! But in all seriousness, maybe you can ask yourself these questions for evaluative purposes: Am I spending too much time hooking up with people and not enough quality time with friends? How many “productive” nights in Lamont did I forgo to have #pillowtalk with my hook up buddies? Is the pillow talk with some of my hook up buddies even good? Alternatively, you could just go with the good old-fashioned “whatever” and not question your ways since the semester is coming to an end anyway.
Betty: If you have to question whether you’re hooking up with too many people, you’re probably hooking up with too many people. But no judgement, I respect the hustle.
How do I ask a guy to any of the formals coming up?
Hyemi: I would personally go with a cute little text message followed by a string of seemingly-related emojis to make it look low stakes.
Betty: When in doubt, Bumble it out. Everyone loves being asked to formals, and if for some reason your Bumble boo says no, it just wasn’t meant to bee...
How should you act around a guy you’ve hooked up with once but haven’t spoken to since? :/
Betty: As the wise Henry David Thoreau (Harvard College Class of 1837) once said, “Be yourself—not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be.” In other words, the only person you should be around this guy is the very best person you are: ~yourself~ :]. And if you haven’t spoken since your hookup, is it because this guy hasn’t responded to you yet, or is it because you’re waiting for him to make the next move? Because if it’s the latter, stop waiting. Be proactive and get the ball rolling again. Text him, insta dm him, poke him, challenge him to a game of Facebook basketball. But all the while, act like nothing or nobody but your beautifully unique self.
Hyemi: Thanks for the emoji, really conveys the ~confusion~ and ~frustration~ of our generation’s hook up culture :/. Being that I am an intrinsically awkward person (ex. I get social anxiety when someone is holding the door into Sever for the person in front of me and I don’t know whether I should run to catch up or purposely walk slower so I open the door myself), I would have major hesitations reaching out to him first. If you’re like me and appreciate the low-risk approaches, maybe you can start with a like on his Instagram or Facebook post as a “hello, I remember you and am acknowledging your existence so I hope you appreciate this gesture.” From there, it could build up to prolonged eye contact followed by a smile if you happen to cross paths with him at the fateful Science Center Plaza between classes. Good luck, and please report back to me because if you couldn’t tell, I am personally invested in this now!
Betty: Honestly, I was always a Webkinz kind of girl. Come to think of it, I actually made myself a new Webkinz account one fine day in Lamont last semester while “studying for finals.” Pro-tip: you don’t have to purchase a Webkinz plush from your nearest pharmacy anymore to make an account!
Hyemi: Yes, always. The highlights of my Neopets career were playing Meerca Chase and decorating my Neohome with trendy furniture. A major low point was when the evil ghost would steal my Neopet money– seriously, not nice!
That’s our advice for this week, but please continue to tell us your life problems and ponderings and you bet we’ll be back with solutions.
Betty and Hyemi