Harvard students may have a lot going for them — brains, intellect, wit, the ability to come up with synonyms — but there are definitely areas of their lives that could be drastically improved if they had some superpowers to help them out. Here are just a few that Harvard students are desperately in need of.
The power to find love
It’s not heart to believe that the satisfaction of completing a pset or turning in an essay can only fill the gaping holes in our hearts for so long. Some of us would love to go on a date before we become as wrinkled as a date.
The power to manipulate time
Step one: make Harvard Time a thing again so dhall lunch will no longer be a foreign concept. Talk about no longer being ticked off.
The power to alter your taste buds
This would be a tasteful power for the days when the HUDS menu just isn’t cooperating with your cravings...
The power of invisibility
This is for the inevitable moment when you drop your tray in the dhall and want the ground to swallow you up. Also a useful superpower if you get cold-called in class and don’t want to feel like a total phony.
The power to fly
No longer having to trek to and from the Quad would be a fly superpower. Also, if your grades aren’t soaring, at least you still can!