Wakey wakey, eggs and bakeyyyy! It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new (house) life for you. We know that no one needs a reminder of what happened (yes, even you upperclassmen), but we’re kindly here to provide one anyway. These are the memories you’ll want to look back on later tonight when you are a little less….enlightened!

“Your Magic Mike lap dance was soooo good. We’re definitely going to get Quincy now.” (Talk about by the people, for the people.)

“They made me do a wall sit. Hello???” — Uhm, talk about earning your keep.

“YOU’RE THE BEST ROOM WE’VE EVER BEEN TOOOOOOO” — Love the enthusiasm. Hope you still feel that way this morning.

“You guys are so cool! What’s your Instagram?” — Aww. We love the underclassmen x upperclassmen networking.

“You can’t pants me, I’m wearing layers” — Ok, so that’s more information than I think anyone ever needed to know tbh.

“OMG THAT’S MY PAF!” — Abort. Abort. Abort. Where’s that invisibility cloak when you need it.

“I hope more people come to your room. Y’all are lame upperclassmen unc.” So this actually cut really deep, and I don’t know if the hypothetical people involved will ever really recover.

“How in the world are 17 people stuck in the Quincy elevator?!” — Dang. Talk about trauma.

“Do we really have to go to Kirk?” — If your blockmates actually loved you, no.

I’m coming to the cottage? No, I’m coming to the concrete jungle. — We 100% support

“That’s the first renegade I’ve done since COVID.” — Ok, Charli D’Amelio.

“I already have blocking drama ugh.” #canonevent #cannotinterfere.

“Where is my digital camera? Where is my cam recorder? Bro, where is my phoneeee???” — Yikes. How in the world are these freshmen in their matching onesies ever going to post those Y2K-inspired Instagram stories? Real aura loss, guys.

“Why is it raining today of all days?” — Check your privilege. All your upperclassmen ancestors have gone through the same, so just endure and persevere.

No matter where you ended up last night, we hope you all ended up at the perfect house this beautiful dorm storm morning. Be it the Quad or the River, you are in store for an amazing three years with (hopefully) the people you love dearly, and the people you have yet to meet that will make any hangxiety worth it in the end. Source: trust us.