No Moped Jokes This Week

If the writing on this page looks unfamiliar, that's because our regular rock columnist, Richie the "W," is on vacation in sunny West Palm Beach, recuperating from a recent attack of thesitis. Word from down South is that he's getting better, and will be back as soon as his typing fingers heal. Hopefully by May 4, because that's when the loveable, pigeon-toed Elvis Costello hits town along with Nick Lowe and Mink DeVille, a combination more delectable than the Kong's #7 platter.

Meanwhile, there's lots of good "stuff" (says West Coast correspondent Chuck Barris, our candidate for the Elvis Look-Alike Contest) in the Boston area to keep you kiddies off the street until reading period. Closest to home is Tom Paxton, appearing at Jonathan Swift's on April 9. If you're up for journeying into Boston, the Paradise is featuring Willy Alexander and the Boom Boom Band on April 6, and none other than Carly Simon April 9-11. Nobody does it better, and at $9.50 it's worth it, if you can afford it.

Meanwhile, on April 19, David Bromberg teams up with Maria Muldaur (last seen onstage with Jerry Garcia) at Symphony Hall. Maria went to my high school and used to cut her English class to sing in the bathroom. The acoustics at Symphony Hall are much better, though.

Meanwhile, Waylon Jennings and Jessi Colter hit town on April 20. I caught them over the summer in Rapid City, South Dakota. He and Jessi ("I'm Not Lisa") are married, but they never sing together. In public, that is.

Whoops, for a change we were going to put all the listings in chronological order, but we forgot all about the Tubes (featuring Test Tube, Inner Tube, Boob Tube and Tubby the Tube), who will be taking the Tube to the Orpheum this Sunday.

Meanwhile, on April 21 it's the talented, together Tower of Power, appearing with Return to Forever drummer Lenny White. You may have to leave your Seder early, before you can find the Afikomen, but it should be worth it. If you hide in the bathroom on the first floor overnight, you won't have to pay to see Robert Palmer, whose suggestive album covers haven't hurt his record sales a bit. If the security guard catches you in the stalls, however, you can mosey over to the Boston Garden to catch the Marshall Tucker Band. They are an excellent act, not that anyone can tell by the warped sound of the cavernous Garden.

Meanwhile, if you're into some mellow and boring tunes, then Symphony Hall is the place to be in two weeks, where on the 23rd you can be lulled into blissful sleep by Gordon Lightfoot. If you stay in your seat, your REMing won't be disturbed by Art Garfunkel, a surefire sedative who'll be onstage a mere 48 hours later. That's if the roadies don't wake you between shows.

Meanwhile, David Bowie, the man who fell to earth, will fall into the Garden sometime in early May. Also be on the lookout for Lou Reed, who'll be coming to the Paradise in mid-May.

Meanwhile, that's the lineup for the rest of the month. A good bunch of musicians, but none of them can compare to the Bermuda Strollers, whose talented rendition of "Obla-dee, Oblada" brightened up my spring vacation considerably. They should be coming soon to the Berklee Performance Center. When they do, I suggest you hop on the next moped to Bermuda (the headline lied).

Meanwhile,