You Can't Do That at Harvard!

Justin Cammy is a Resident Tutor in QUINCY house and the Head teaching fellow for Foreign Cultures 56, "Jewish Life
By A.m. Fitzgerald

Justin Cammy is a Resident Tutor in QUINCY house and the Head teaching fellow for Foreign Cultures 56, "Jewish Life in Eastern Europe." In a former life, however, Cammy starred in the 80s Nickelodeon hit "You Can't Do That on Television." In the study of his New Quincy penthouse suite, Cammy divulged wisdom on childhood fame and the ingredients of green slime.

FM: How did you get your start?

Cammy: Before "You Can't Do That" I got a rather auspicious start by being the voice of Kevin in the Care Bears pilot, "Care Bears in the Land Before Feeling." That appeared on some national network [in the United States], but I never really paid attention to these things.

FM: How would you describe the show?

Cammy: "You Can't Do That on Television" was the first post-modern children's program of my generation. It subverted all recognizable forms and deconstructed the pre-teen's understanding of such important institutions as the family, the school and the video arcade. When the school teacher did not know any better than to call Milton's masterpiece "Pair of Dice Lost," the program functioned as an ideological clarion call to future college students like you who would go on to demand the displacement of an ossified Western canon with more relevant investigations of low culture. Several years ago a student who will remain nameless--her name was Jen--handed in a pictoral interpretation of the essay question in place of a ten-page paper. I instantly knew that she had gleaned her air of entitlement and complete disrespect for all forms of academic propriety from being a nightly fan of "You Can't Do That On Television." Although I failed her, it was the proudest moment of my life.

FM: What the hell was that slime?

Cammy: I can't reveal what the slime was made of, but I can say that University Dining Services serves it to Harvard undergrads at breakfast.

FM: That's not much of a clue.

Cammy: Yeah, but if I told you anything more, I'd have to kill you.

FM: What was the deal with those lockers?

Cammy: They were actually normal school lockers with no backs and which were just painted on the front. The locker skits were interesting because they were in every show and had the worst jokes but were the hardest scenes to film. Whereas in other skits we could start a scene up in the middle if we messed up, we had to do the locker scenes all in one take. We couldn't stop and start up in the middle of it. Everybody would start laughing...We had a script to follow, but we could also ad lib if it fit in with the jokes.

FM: And what about that early Care Bear phase you went through?

Cammy: I'm just happy I never got involved in these Teletubbies.

FM: Ever date a Care Bear?

Cammy: No, no care bears. But I had a girlfriend in college who looked kind of like Tenderheart...she was kind of heavy.

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