Gossip Guy!

After drinking an entire handle of Baileys Irish Cream, the Yale Daily News drunkmailed the Crimson late Saturday night. We herd you hve populr gossssp colum Goszp Guy. Wundering ef Gssp Gony can wriett specl hAvar-yale colmm for uss. PS you ar hott! Lets hock up. I have boltte vodk, conmdom. Flattered and intrigued by the offer, Gossip Guy can confirm that this weeks Special Harvard-Yale Edition will also run in the Yale Daily News, but will still feature the standard lies, rumors and innuendo

Harvard students should be advised that Yale students have a tradition of peeing on the John Yale statue. Sex in the stacks of Yalener Library is another beloved campus ritual

Claire Danes: Seen in acclaimed production of Chekhovs The Seagull in Central Park, no. Seen in The Mod Squad on video shelves, yes. Nuff said

When Yales mama sits around the Yale Bowl, she really sits around the Yale Bowl, sucka

ber-WASPish prep school grad Tabitha G. Filney 02 will be spending the weekend at the Connecticut estate of Andover classmate Q. Danforth J. Harriman IV (Yale 02). Im a trifle worried that the mansion wont be ready yet, because the rest of the help are still tending to our cottage, our penthouse, our villa, our chateau and our chalet, Harriman said. Only our manservant Geoffrey has arrived. I am still awaiting my chauffer and my cook, as well as my gardener, butler, governess, wet nurse and masseuse. Apologies, but I dont remember their names. I get their attention with this bell. He then escorted Gossip Guy from the drawing room to the solarium, through the antechamber and out the servants entrance

Thereve been a lot of jokes about what a slum New Haven is. But theres nothing funny about shit-covered sidewalks, broad-daylight muggings and crack whores operating out of the Stillman College courtyard

Presidents that attended Harvard: John F. Kennedy, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Josiah Jed Bartlett, Bill Pullman. Presidents that attended Yale: Warren G. Harding, Warren G, Andrew Johnson, Richard Nixon, Dan Quayle, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, O.J. Simpson, Emperor Hirohito, Henry VIII, Manuel Noreaga, Rasputin, Bill Maher

Harvards so much cooler than Yale that, according to a popular t-shirt, our mascot, John Harvard, receives disgusting, bestial oral sex from the Yale Bulldog. What were saying is, bring on the bulldog sex, said the shirts designer, Kenny L. Posner 00. Canine tongue on our genitalsthats what were about. Thats what we like. Go Crimson!

A recent documentary about Yale secret societies, The Skulls, has left many Harvard visitors worried. Apparently, the campus is fraught with pistol dueling, journalist killing, Provost-initiated vehicular manslaughter and Craig T. Nelson

Impressionable freshman Harold K. Fahlgren 05 is very excited about Harvard-Yale weekend, based on very poor information. I was talking to this really drunk guy who wasnt wearing pants [Steven K. Seaver 98-03], and he was saying that there was like a huge fucking Harvard-Yale sex orgy last time he went to New Haven. He also said Yale girls are super-hot, and really impressed by Harvard guys. Im definitely gonna score! When confronted about his prevarications, Seaver tried to enlist his resident tutor in a pantsless trip to the vending machine

Harvard-Yale Non-Gossip of the Week: Karl M. Allis 03 was going to drive down to New Haven, but changed his mind. I was going to drive, but I changed my mind, he clarified. I think Ill take the bus. I dont know. I think my roommate took the train once. I guess I might still driveT. Gerald McCarty 04 is looking forward to tailgating. I think Ill have a beer or two at the Adams House tailgate, maybe a burger. Then I think Ill go to the game, McCarty mused

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