SWF M.B.A. Seeks SWM J.D. For Walks Along Beach

Valentine’s Day is on its way, and single souls are seeking some quality companionship. But not just anyone will do.
By W.d. Widman

Valentine’s Day is on its way, and single souls are seeking some quality companionship. But not just anyone will do. In fact, for some, only a Harvard man or woman makes for a satisfactory mate. After all, when you’re a “stunning blonde with cover girl looks, a model’s cheekbones, blue eyes and a figure that turns heads and stops traffic,” you can’t just settle for anyone. And that’s why some have turned to Harvard Magazine’s personals section to lure a mate with that elusive, exclusive Harvard degree.

FM decided to respond to some of the personals to find out from the singles themselves how well Harvard’s alumni magazine plays cupid. The personal of one searching single who announced herself as a “Susan Sarandon” and “Donna from Mind of the Married Man” hybrid caught our eye—and responded to our phone calls.

As this SWF reveals, “If you place an ad in Harvard Magazine, you should get well-educated, good-quality people.” Though not a Harvard graduate herself, she has her sights on the Ivy League and admits that she has placed ads in the Princeton Alumni Weekly as well. Or rather, her personals consultant placed the ads. Apparently, those in search of “high-quality” people use high-quality and high-priced means to attract them.

Many of the personal ads in the back of Harvard Magazine are the work of Personals Work, a Boston-based firm that specializes in tailoring the perfect personal for an individual and then publishing it in certain select venues. “Basically we work with people to enhance their chances of meeting somebody,” says Susan Fox, the founder of Personals Work. After an hour interview, Fox spins these singles’ values, guidelines, hopes and dreams into a flashy bio meant to entice potential suitors. At $125 per hour, Fox’s services don’t come cheap, but she claims to offer insider tips that are sure to lure the perfect mate—in fact, Fox met her husband through one of her own personals.

A key element in attracting men is providing them with a “visual,” Fox says, adding that she will not print inaccurate descriptions. “If we say someone is stunning, they may be stunning for their age. A 55-year-old will not be the same kind of stunning as a 26-year-old,” she adds. “We have to come up with a figure in public life—it could be Eleanor Roosevelt, but readers need a visual.”

And what if the single is not drop-dead gorgeous?

“Sometimes people will ask me why I didn’t describe them as attractive, and I’m thinking, well—because you’re not,” she says.

Fox’s work seems to be doing the trick. One swinging single says that the cleverly worded and more than faintly flattering personal that Fox composed for her was working. “My ad has been very successful,” she says. “I’ve gotten quite a few responses. Alas, none have been serious.”

Despite a high level of interest in her ad, the SWF has thus far been underwhelmed by the qualifications of some of her would-be suitors. Apparently, more than just Harvard alumni read Harvard Magazine. Though a Harvard degree doesn’t guarantee a perfect match, the lack of a Harvard degree is, as Carrie Bradshaw would say, a deal-breaker.

Overall, Harvard Magazine boasts that their customers are satisfied. One happy customer, a Harvard graduate also holding degrees from Columbia and Stanford Universities, noted that Harvard Magazine was the only publication among her alma maters that really offers this service. “They have really created a market for personals,” she said. Although the folks at the magazine don’t keep exact tabs on the success rates of their personals, Classifieds Advertising Manager Stephanie A. Corner knows of more than a few happy relationships. “We’ve even had a couple of marriages,” she says proudly.

So, in the event that your Valentine’s Day outlook is less than rosy, take solace in the knowledge that one day your Harvard degree may not only be a ticket to gainful employment, but also the surest path to true love.

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