Gossip Guy

Gossip Guy confronted the occupational hazards of his profession head-on after last week’s column.  Barbed e-mails, icy stares and sternly worded voicemails were Gossip Guy’s reward for a week of relationship-ending lies, emasculating innuendos and official university policy violating rumors in recognition of Valentine’s Day. And, unsurprisingly, OSHA was nowhere to be found.  

In honor of those whose social capital has fallen (and fallen fast), Gossip Guy has decided, for one week and one week only, to endeavor for a column that couldn’t possibly offend anyone. Yet, invariably, it will offend someone, so check back next week to find out whom.

World Forecasts for February 26, 2004

(courtesy of weather.com )

                  HI                LOW          Conditions

Cambridge, MA    37°                18°            Sunny

Buenos Aires   86°                72°       Mostly Sunny

Mexico City      71°                41°       Mostly Sunny

Khartoum       99°                80°     Partly Cloudy

Port-au-Prince   90°                73°      Partly Cloudy

Paris     39°                24°      Partly Cloudy

Jakarta       86°                77° Scattered T-storms

Hanoi            70°                65°           Cloudy

New York         42°                 27°            Sunny

London           40°                30°       Mostly Sunny

Cape Town       80°                 67°             Sunny

Oslo           25°                 16°       Snow Showers

Sydney           74°                65°              Rain

Moscow         31°                 25°      Partly Cloudy

Gossip Guy would like to use the remaining inches of the column to present the first annual Ruth C. Havel '05 Award, for best sense of humor in the face of overwhelming gossip and most deft use of plausible deniability, to none other than Ruth C. Havel '05 herself.  In a week of heightened sensitivities on campus, Harvard’s very own master and commander, Havel, instead of getting mad, got revenge, as only she knows how. Ouch.  

*Bonus Gossip Breaking News:

Monique E. Valley ’06 and Minnie S. Choi ’06 were so excited about the festivities surrounding Sex and the City that they decided to dress up as their favorite characters and reenact the show's heart-rending finale. They searched everywhere for the charming combination of sexual prowess and genuine warmth that the hunky males in SATC embody—but sadly, they couldn't find it anywhere at Harvard. The two decided to console themselves with a bottle of gin and the entire third season on DVD. Then they had sex.